If this year was anything, it was a year of events. Personally, anyways. The many, many weddings of friends, close and otherwise; the births of nieces, by family and proxy-families; and to cap off the year, a death.
It may be slightly early for an end-of-the-year recount, but like I said, there's no telling when I'll next be able to log on, and this is as good a time as any anyways. Besides, the muse was visiting.
Two days ago, DrMucho called, saying the mother of a close friend, JC, had suffered a fall and sustained head trauma, and was subsequently diagnosed brain-dead. So we went to see him, to lend moral support, a shoulder to cry on, chauffering services, whatever. He seemed .. collected. Calm. Certainly shaken, but collected. I found his strength in the face of tragedy admirable.
I sat at his mother's bedside for a while, wanting to hold her hand, to offer .. something. She looked so peaceful, like she was asleep. The illusion might have been preserved had I not noticed the rise and fall of her chest move in sync with the harsh hiss of the ventilator. For every hiss was a breath sustaining her life. For every drop of dopamine was another pump of the heart, keeping her blood circulating. Without either, without both, she wouldn't be alive.
They were suspending her life - or death - so her daughter could come home from India to say goodbye.
It was terrible. It was so, so terrible. And it shook me badly. How tenuous our hold on life is.
What a way to end the year.
Certainly, this year has seen a full cycle. From marriages, to births, to deaths. More personally, I watched my brother grow up. Both of them. The elder one is now 17. Last week he attended his prom. I remember getting ready for my prom. *chuckles* Remember that, Min? Ben? :o) My little brother is all grown up! And LittleSumo, he's now three. A three-year-old terror, the tyrant who rules our house and hearts.
And I had to watch someone I love infinitely get married. Well, two of em this month, actually. Congrats Lut and Apin. I pray for nothing but the very best for you both. I love you both so very much. If F and J ever make you cry, I swear I'll get Anne and Tina together and we'll break their balls. :o) *hugz*
But I was referring to someone else. It wasn't easy watching Him marry another woman. Oh God, it wasn't easy at all. Yet, it was the right time to let go. About time. Long past due, really. :o)
And maybe it's true when they say there isn't a better way to get over a guy than to get another. Lol. I've always thought that that was a bit like exchanging the poison for a dagger, but .. lol. Maybe there's some truth in it, maybe not. All I know is that I am so grateful MrBurns came into my life. :o)
Never have I met someone who so persistently, so relentlessly, quite so successfully broke through my defences .. and as most will attest, I can be a tough nut to crack, on account of my incredible stubbornness! lolz. But he did, and in the process helped me heal, helped me let go. For the first time in years, I feel happy. At peace. Somewhat. :o)
I'm glad, this instance, he was more stubborn than me. I never thought that could actually be possible! lol! He's in London now, for his convocation ceremony. I miss you, my sweet goldfish. :o)
Enough with the sappiness. I look forward to seeing what 2005 will bring. It looks set to start strong. I look forward to next year.
My New Year's Resolution? I don't make New Year Resolutions. I hate it enough when people put expectations on me, I refuse to do it to myself. But my wish for the new year: to be happy. To have my soul happy and satisfied. To have new beginnings. To have the opportunity and space to make, or break, my own life.
It may be early yet, but here's my wish for you: that the coming year will bring you much joy, much laughter, much peace and fulfilment. It's time to leave the past in the past, and usher in new beginnings. Be well, everyone. May peace be upon you. Have a Happy New Year.
Much Love,
Jas. :O)
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Sunday, December 12, 2004
The Technologically Behind ...
Am having a difficult time updating .. the last working computer in the house has crashed, and I now have to resort to begging friends to let me use theirs or *gasp* internet cafes. :oP
This sucks .. it's time I upgrade. *Duh!*
This sucks .. it's time I upgrade. *Duh!*
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts
Down at an english fair one evening I was there
When I heard a showman shouting underneath the flair
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
There they are all standing in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts (they’re lovely)
There they are all standing in a row (one, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head (and bigger)
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (all together now)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (harmony)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
When I heard a showman shouting underneath the flair
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
There they are all standing in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts (they’re lovely)
There they are all standing in a row (one, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head (and bigger)
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (all together now)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (harmony)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch!
Saturday, December 04, 2004
And My Temperament Is ...
Stealing a page off the incomparable MzMin. According to the Temperament Sorter II, I have the temperament of an:
Artisan
Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business.
Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.
Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow never comes.
Artisans make up between 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.
The Four types of Artisans are:
Promoters (ESTP) Composers (ISFP) Crafters (ISTP) Performers (ESFP)
.... I didn't think it was accurate, as those who know me well would probably concur, but interesting, nonetheless. So, I took it again and got:
Idealist
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.
The Four types of Idealists are:
Healers (INFP) Counselors (INFJ) Champions (ENFP) Teachers (ENFJ)
.... Much more accurate, I believe. ;o)
Artisan
Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business.
Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.
Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow never comes.
Artisans make up between 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.
The Four types of Artisans are:
Promoters (ESTP) Composers (ISFP) Crafters (ISTP) Performers (ESFP)
.... I didn't think it was accurate, as those who know me well would probably concur, but interesting, nonetheless. So, I took it again and got:
Idealist
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.
The Four types of Idealists are:
Healers (INFP) Counselors (INFJ) Champions (ENFP) Teachers (ENFJ)
.... Much more accurate, I believe. ;o)
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