Wednesday, July 28, 2004

What I Love About You

I love how eventhough this was our first meeting in .. oh, about three or so years, we could pick up where we left off as if we had only just seen each other yesterday.

I love how eventhough so much has happened to us, we've neither of us changed, not essentially.

I love that you're still so you, the you I fell in love with almost a decade ago.

I love that you really seem to remember so much about me, despite the infrequency of our meetings.

I love that you can still make me laugh so much, and that you still have that gorgeous laugh.

I'm glad you called Mum today. I loved meeting you for coffee. I hope we meet again - soon!


p/s: Don't get excited, everyone. (Especially YOU. Yes, I mean YOU.) I'm talking about one of my mum's gay friends. He's old enough to be a close friend of hers, yet young enough still to be my girlfriend as well. He's absolutely lovely. I only realised today how much I've missed him.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Holiday Over

Alaaa! My holidays are over! Boohoohoo!! I've just started work with my uncle's company / my mum's company at Bukit Jalil.

Yes, I have two punch cards, and both my aunt (who's in charge of my uncle's company's BJ division) and my mum insist on putting me on their payroll. It's a tug-of-war. I am almost at my wit's end trying to evade my aunt. I can't skirt around me mum. I have to live with her. I have two desks, one in each office. I have two chairs. I have two sets of stationery. I have two official 'positions'-slash-'designations' for the work(s) I'm supposed to be doing. I have all these frou-frou trappings and all the glamorous titles that go with it, but in actual fact, I really have nothing to do. Nothing. Nada.

Okay la. I'm still getting a feel of things, but currently, my job isn't anthing more exerting than flipping over to the next page of the Operations & Maintenance Manuals. Adooi! Lenguh dah tangan I! Hopefully things will start to be more interesting once I become more familiar with the systems at the stadiums. Otherwise, I might throw myself on my 2B pencil. One of them. Maybe both if things get even more boring.

It's insane. Despite all the fuss, however, I have no idea what I'm getting paid. IF I'm being paid at all! Huh, laku jugak saya ni. Yelah, kalau dah free ...

But they were all right. Every single one of 'em. I no longer have much time for anything else!! Everyone told me working would do this, and that I should enjoy the cuti before I start. I belum puas cutiiiii!!! But what to do? Dah kena paksa punya pasal....

Sunday, July 25, 2004

20 Questions to a Better Personality

Yes, i know this is a copping-out, but it'll have to do until I find something worthwhile writing about. This past week has been nothing but a severe lack of anything even remotely resembling inspiration. My life-force has been sapped, totally drained kering-kontang. OOOooohh .. Tres new-age-y! Also, I hate to write when I'm pissed off. Sad, yes. Pissed off, naaah. Anger and irritation make me think incoherently - and bitchily at that. Besides, I had to stop embarrassing myself further. Re: previous post. Then again, maybe don't. Sasterawan Negara, I am not. Or should that be Sasterawati? Is there such a thing as sasterawati???

Yup, yet another test which determines my personality. I swear, if all them were true, I'm every woman. Person. Whatever. They're still fun tho. ;o)

Jenny Turpish Slapped Me! Personality Test.

Wackiness: 38/100
Rationality: 22/100
Constructiveness: 46/100
Leadership: 52/100

You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.

Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.

You are not to be messed with. You may explode.


Wackiness: 50/100
Rationality: 34/100
Constructiveness: 46/100
Leadership: 54/100


You are an SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a dictator. You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.

You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.

Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.

You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.

~@~

Yes, I took the test twice. Mildly-obsessive-compulsive me does tend to do this to check for consistency. *rolleyes* However, I thought both answers were interesting. Bottom-line: I'm volatile-ly insane. ;o)

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Amir Yussof Live at the La Bodega Lounge!

Phew. It’s been a while since the last update. Gatal jari I, you ... Thing is, my eyes have gone blurry for a bit and this is the clearest it’s been so far .. which is not exactly saying things are crystal clear just yet ....

So! How has my week been? Great! It’s been great, but there was one day which stood out in particular: Wednesday the 14th of July. Why? AMIR YUSSOF LIVE AT THE LA BODEGA LOUNGE in Bangsar!! Aiyeeeee!!!

It was totally amazing, despite the cramped venue. The initial plan was for us (me and two friends) to have a nice dinner at the La Bodega Restaurant, then head up to the Lounge for drinks early so we could get seats (seeing as how seating was limited) in time for the scheduled 10pm show. However, those plans were scrapped when I was stood up by said friends. Either I mistakenly assumed their agreeing to the plan was assent, or they hadn't made it clear that they were not committed, but whatever it was, I expected them to join me for a leisurely night out, and instead they both bailed out at the last minute. Okay, one bailed out, and the other wanted to go to the gym first and arrive at the Lounge at 10:30pm-ish. Ya, kua. Performance still on, wat? Also, maybe we can go mamak at Bangsar for a bit of dinner after gym first before the show ... Err. Okay. This coming from a person who knows how much I love Amir Yussof and how much I was looking forward to the performance. Right. To say I was a little bit miffed would have been a gross understatement.

Whatever. I ended up going with my sister, and we had a rockin' good time!

Like I said, by the time we got there at about 9:15pm, the place was already crowded. Alamak! I thought we would have been amongst the early birds!

[snip!]
It turned out, though, that we were amongst the earlier ones. You wouldn't believe how packed it got later on (around 11pm onwards)! Those in the back were packed like sardines in a teeny weeny can. Friend came by after her gym session and I didn’t even get to see her coz she left after the first set and I couldn't get to her on account of the massive crowd. Little Sister and I got a bit lucky at the second set. We managed to charm a group into letting us have a little side stool to perch our derrieres on. Be thankful for small blessings!
[unsnip!]


Amir strolled to the little corner which served as the 'stage', wearing an open-throated white shirt and faded, faded, ultra-soft blue jeans, with his curling hair gathered up in a small pony-tail. I almost fainted deadaway. This man is so beautiful! He's got one of the loveliest facial structures I've ever seen! His eyes crinkles almost playfully when he smiles, and he smiles to make hearts melt. And his laugh! *swoon! THUD!!*

He kicked off the night with "Little Bird", ended with "Break Away" (I think), with "Third People", "Fool In Love", "Sweet Surrender" and "The Thin Line" interspersed between covers he did of other songs (NO "Hotel California", please!!).

I was somewhat disappointed on two counts:
1. He performed more covers than originals. I was there to listen to HIS compositions! I love his songs!
2. He didn’t perform "Wasted Time", which is my favourite of all his songs. Bummer.

However, those were the only things that made my enjoyment of the night slightly less-than-perfect. Well, I could also have done without the young mat-salleh woman (who, btw, had a terribly inadequate 'support system') who insisted on dancing right in front of Amir Yussof, Rock God (remember! it was a small place!), thereby blocking the entire view for most of us, and instead replaced the excellent view of The Man and his band with the ghastly sight of her floppy mat-salleh tits melambung every-which-way. *shudders* But yeah. She left after people finally had enough and started hissing at her, and apart from that, I had no complaints. *winkz*

I tell you, that man has a way with music! His velvet-and-gravel voice is to .. die .. for!! *swoon* I would have melted into a gooey, hot puddle at his feet if not for the desire to jump him (I mean, speak with him) afterwards! Maaaak! Lawa nye mamat niiiiii!!! Hai, bilalah dia nak datang minang aku???

He performed his first two (or three) songs solo, then was joined by his 'friends': Jamie Wilson (lead guitar), Casey (of the Seribu-Impian-song fame) (bass), and John Ashley Thomas (drums). Yes, they all rocked.

[snip! Mini rant ahead]
I've always found it a bit crappy how usually the crowd only gives the lead guitarists their due when they 'goreng's their instrument, but bassists and drummers are rarely fully appreciated. It's not fair! *grumbles about the sad musical under-education and the gross lack of observation of general audiences*
[unsnip! Mini rant over!]


Ahem. Where was I? Oh, yes. They all rocked, but the star of the show, only second to The Man, of course, was the drummer, John. Wah lau wei!! That kid rocked! And ‘kid’, I kid you not. Only 19 years old and he kicked serious ass with them drums! He totally blew me away!! Even before the first drum solo!!! I was totally smitten! He hooked me like a starving ikan keli after a juicy, glutted worm. Such technique! Such skill! Such talent! He was a natural with the drums!

Of course, he had 10 years of experience tucked under his belt. But such fluidity with his instrument! No amount of practise could ever amount to that. The boy is a genius!

I was so impressed with him that I forgot I was supposed to be a dignified 24-year-old and accosted him at the end of the first set, where I told him (okay, gushed) how impressed I was with his drumming. We chatted a bit, and then he had to attend to The Man who was calling him over. Well, that was that, though. He had said that it would be nice to chat some more after the show, but we had to leave early coz Little Sister was tired and had to wake up early for work the next day. Pooh. Well, at least she was nice enough to let me enjoy the end of the second set before heading for home.

Amir's performance ended at the end of the second set, but he had a friend play after him, a sort of 'guest' performer, whom the band accompanied. We didn't stay for that last bit, much as I wanted to. Well, you've got to compromise sometimes, and besides, it was already past 1am. So I didn't get to chat some more with John. Dang. I really wanted his number so we could hang out sometime.

TO JAM!! TO JAM!!!!!! Huh! What are you thinking, hah?!! He's nineteen, for crying out loud!! I already have enough problems dating a 22-year-old!

:o)

Yes, drove home on cloud nine. Mum had a bit of a fit when we waltzed in at close to 2am. I responded by dreamily asking her to go minang him for me in the morning. She quietly looked at me, probably wondering what kind of drugs they were handing out at the Lounge. It was stronger than any drug, baby. It was LURVE. Hooo yeah! She must have known that, though, coz she looked more amused than annoyed. She said okay, but as I'm reminded of this now, I realise that she hasn't gotten back to me at all regarding this. Hmmmmm ... Must follow-up ......


p.s: There will be another Amir Yussof performance at the La Bodega in KL (Tengkat Tung Shin) this Saturday, 24th of July, 10pm onwards. Again, no fee will be levied, seating will be limited. This time, however, he’ll be performing solo. Whoopee! Anyone interested in hooking up for this, let me know!

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Lost In Paradise

*Catching my breath*

How come eventhough I'm currently unemployed, enjoying a loooong break between the end of my schooling and the beginning of a career, and no longer worrying about my results, I STILL don't have enough hours in a day?!!

... although the difference may be that I've been filling up all my time with the pursuit of leisure instead of breaking my back over books or work. Muahahahhaaaaa!! ;oP

It's nice, not having much responsibility beyond buying food for my cats every two weeks. (Even then it's not that much of a chore because it gives me an excuse to go to Pet Safari at Ikano and chat with that cute employee who keeps giving me discounts, free kitty treats, and, not to mention, the eye. *winkz*)

So I spend the rest of my day(s) with DrMucho, who is also currently on a break, going to the gym (and checking out the mucho macho gym instructors who, btw, don't pay us the slightest attention, but are nonetheless yummy eye-candy) and shopping, window or otherwise. I tell you, it's absolute suicide on my bank account going to any mall with decent shops with him! I've resorted to leaving my ATM cards at home and carrying only RM50 when I'm out with him. Thank God I refuse to do credit cards! I must confess though, that this strategy is only half as effective as I would like it to be. Things like the Zara Sale are so hard to resist ….

But (yes, I know it's wrong to start sentences with 'But', BUT I'm not writing a term paper, eh? We can all be informal here. *winkz*) .. but these are the 'ordinary' diversions of my days. A few days ago, I had the good fortune to be treated to a full-day spa treatment at the Sembunyi Spa at the CyberView Lodge. I will now shamelessly describe this magnificent experience of leisurely decadence to all!

I’ve always been curious about this spa, curiosity which was no doubt borne out of reading countless articles about it in the media. (Bombardment advertising really does work!) Unfortunately, always (as the Kemaman-ese put it) adok seng (ie. no money).

Then, out of the wonderful wonderful blue, Mum decides she wants a mini-getaway. Initial plans of a family trip to Tioman had to be scrapped due to the fact that there were no available seats on the flights to Tioman on all weekends till the end of the season, and Her Royal Highness turned her nose up at driving down all the way to Mersing. *Sigh* But perhaps it was a good thing that the Tioman getaway didn’t work out, as she then decided that the next best thing was a spa treat! So with all three daughters in tow, she converged on the Sembunyi Spa like a Regal Royal with her entourage of dayang-dayangs.

We arrived at 11am, and were introduced to the various services offered. We all ended up taking a full-body, 6-hour treatment, which was aptly named “Lost In Paradise”. It was a “Spa Lover’s Dream!” which consisted of a bath, body scrub, wrap and massage, facial, hair treatment, and lunch.

The wonderful day began with a sauna/steam room and hot and cold jacuzzi session, and a ginger drink which tasted somewhat noxious at first, but left a lovely aftertaste. It was apparently a ‘detoxifying tonic’ the spa had concocted, and hooooboy! Detoxifying, I kid you not! That little cuppa, I believe, had me tinkling every half an hour! Me, whose (unfortunate) powers of water retention are almost legendary! Maybe that’s why I kept going, kot...

At noon, a whole bevy of spa therapists converged upon us in the wet spa, eager to start us on our respective treatments. My therapist was this lovely, small Balinese girl called Wayan.

Mum and I were led to the Mayang Sari Suite. Sweet... It wasn’t plush, nor was it opulent, but impressive it certainly was. It was rich and indulgent in an unassuming way. Very tasteful. No wonder the Schumachers come here every year, without fail (or so we were told..)

First up on the menu: Balinese Massage. I actually wanted the Thai Massage, but it wasn’t an available option that day. Pooh. I selected the use of some sort of ginger aromatic oil for my treatments as I found it fragrant, but unobtrusively so. I was also told that it had a somewhat warming property. What they failed to tell me, though, was its sensual-bordering-on-erotic effect.

Whooooo! That oil made me .. high. In a sensual way. I’m not sure if it was Wayan’s massage skills, or the oil, or the whole mood of the day, or maybe it was all of it, but my senses were on overdrive. It’s a bit of a paradox, really. All the senses were fully awake, so aware, but at the same time, the body is totally relaxed, to the point where when she asked me to flip over, I almost asked her to get a crane and flip me over herself.

But the oil! The subtle sharp-sweet fragrance of the oil coupled with the smooth, long strokes of the massage, and the incredible heat coming off Wayan’s hands .. *phwoargh* It was so incredibly .. sensual! And that was with a female masseuse! Had it been some male massaging me, it would have undoubtedly crossed over into utterly sexual! Note to self: Must remember to get that oil for .. *ahem* .. future .. *cough* .. purposes. Also, must learn to give Balinese Massage. *lascivious grin* I meant to get a bottle then, but the amazing languor I was in when we left made me unable to think beyond ±10mins of present time, so I only remembered the next day. I swear, that oil makes me want to get a guy just so I can give him a massage (.. and receive one in return, maybe? Hehee...)

After a blissful 90 minutes, we were given a body scrub and wrap. I opted for the lulur scrub and floral and yoghurt body mask, which lasted another 90 mins. I never thought that someone slathering yoghurt all over my body could ever feel so good! *shivers with delight!* This was followed by a 20 minute milk and blossoms bath. Aaaaah .. Pure decadence.

At 3pm, we finally took a break for lunch. Chiew! Even the lunch is spa-ish-ly healthy-rich! Grilled salmon sandwiches, lite-Ceasar’s salad, baked potato wedges and healthy juice punches and smoothies ... *swoon*

Half an hour later, our therapists lined up outside the dining lounge to collect us for the remainder of our treatments.

Facial time! I chose to have the Papaya and Oatmeal Scrub, which promised to “tame (my) temperamental skin”. It started with a floral and yoghurt ‘cleansing’ massage, that was followed by the scrub, then a mask. The scrub smelt so yummy I had to sorely resist taking a lick just to see what it tasted like! Soon, I fell asleep and stayed that way until Wayan came in and slapped a cold towel on my forehead. OOOoooooohhh ...... sejuk!

The hair treatment ended the session, and we finally left the spa at 6.30pm, floating on cloud nine. I have never been so pampered, my skin has never been so smooth (baby-smooth!), my hair so soft and well-behaved, my face so gebu-feeling, my muscles soooo relaxed .....

For three days after, I was the most fragrant I’ve ever been! Even when I went to the gym, my God! My sweat never smelt so good! Betul! Tak tipu!!

Apart from the treatments, I think the general ambience of the place had a lot to do with it as well. The structures were simple, but impressive, nonetheless. The décor was uncluttered, the layout of the place very easy and relaxed. Soothing music piped out of hidden speakers and the serene trickling of water could be heard all over the place (which, perhaps, could have greatly contributed to my ... ‘detoxification’). The atmosphere was remarkably serene and unhurried, totally conducive to relaxation. The architects/designers/staff did a superb job of creating this little haven and infusing an air of .. unconcerned-ness. All concerns to be checked-in at the front desk along with handphones, to be collected at the end of the day. Yes, there is a strict no-handphones rule at the spa.

Haha .. this may be due to my perverseness, but one of the things I liked best about that place was not having to worry about what I was wearing, or how I was wearing what, because most of the time, you’re wearing nothing. Except for a pair of almost-non-existent paper panties, of course. I think that I might have been a nudist in a past life. I just love it. Heheee..

Yes, it cost a fair bit, but as we had taken full-body package, it was a good deal cheaper. What’s more, the package hadn’t cost as much as I thought it might have. Also, since we went on a weekday, we were entitled to a 20% discount. Not bad at all. In the end, a full day’s worth of pampering and hand-and-feet treatment had us slightly less than RM500 poorer per person. It was worth every single sen. *winkz*

Everyone should experience this at least once! I have resolved to do it once every two or three months. *ahem* Once I’m earning my own wages, of course. Nak pergi every month tak mampu pulak ... :o)

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

The Ill-Fated Drum Exam

I sat for my Drum Exam today. Pot. It all went to pot.

You know how they say that for a stage performance, if the final dress rehearsal is a total disaster, then opening night is almost guaranteed to be a success? Yeah. My final practise session yesterday went flawlessly. Maybe I should have purposely screwed up yesterday.

So. I knew my pieces, apa lagi? This was my first music exam in .. oh, 8 years, so of course I was nervous! Outside the exam room, waiting for the student before me to finish, my heart started stuttering and my body started to feel light all over, as though I was floating. Yes, that’s what happens when I get nervous. I 'float'.

I took several deep, calming breaths, and by the time that little bell rang, signalling my turn, I had regained control over my nerves. I took my little slip and handed it over to the examiner. This cute, English male examiner. Yes lah. Jas memang mata keranjang sikit…

First, he asked if I would prefer to perform my pieces or do the technical exercises first. I thought I might as well get the pieces over with before another attack of jittery nerves hits again.

I was given a short practise session to make sure the drums positioning, etc. were fine. Slight adjustments were made, and the short, ungraded practise went well. Then the music for the first piece came on. Yeah, I was in the groove, baby! I managed to get through the first piece without a hitch, and we moved on to the second piece.

The second piece was a more fun piece, more fluid. It started off well, and I was grooving along, enjoying the music .. when disaster inevitably struck. With no warning what-so-ever, the nerves struck halfway through the song, and my whole left leg started trembling, ever-so-slightly, but uncontrollably. It was hard trying to take deep, calming breaths when you’re trying to concentrate on the music AND trying to keep the tempo, but I had just managed to regain control over my left leg when my left hand AND right leg started trembling! Augh! The only thing that was running through my mind then was F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!!!

I think it was then that the nerves totally took over. EVERYTHING started trembling at that point, and I just totally gave up trying to regain control. Menggigil pun menggigil lah. All I was trying to do was finish the song as best I could, which meant getting the beats right, to hell with the shaky strokes. I finished the song, and desperately tried to quell the nervous trembling before the third song began. Fortunately, the CD player was being somewhat difficult, allowing me the few precious extra seconds I needed to calm down somewhat.

The third song. Eurgh. In retrospect, I should have probably gotten it over with first. Always, throughout the history of my music exams, I’ve always had problems with my third song, and always, it is my favourite of the three. This time was no different. My third song was the most difficult, technically and rhythmically, and required full concentration but I also had to be totally relaxed.

I guess it’s an understatement to say that that strategy was shot to pieces.

Seeing, however, that I had little choice left, I ignored the more difficult passages, replacing them instead with whatever I could come up with (which were correct, rhythmically, but not exactly technically impressive) and was determined to enjoy the music. The third piece was full of loud, crashing cymbals. What fun. You can imagine the minor relief I got by banging my frustration out on them...

The technical exercises went by smoothly, thank God. Then came the aural tests. Groan. First, he played a short phrase, and I had to describe the beats. A cinch. Then he was explaining something to me .. something to do with my having to listen to the next snippet of music (he would play it twice) and mimicking it on my own ... only his accent was soooo thick (amende lah mat salleh nih cakap??) that by the time I deciphered what he had said, the first example of the phrase had already ended! Augh! When I heard it the second time around, I realised it was a bit complicated! Apa daaaa!!

I (very politely) asked if he could play it just once more, but he said (insert super thick English accent), "Sorry, love, I’d love to, but exam procedures .. etc. ..." Crap! So I sat there for a few seconds, staring unblinkingly at the wall, trying to remember how that (mutter mutter) pattern went.

"What’s important is that you try, love." Apa mat salleh ni panggil aku 'love, love' pulak???

I had a vague idea of how it went, and after a few false starts, I thought, what the hell? Whatever lah! and (at the very end of the exam!!) frustration overcame the nerves, and my limbs finally stopped trembling.

One last Section to go before the torture would finally be over: General Musical Knowledge.

Mr Brit: First Question: What is the time signature for this piece and can you explain it, please?
Me: The time signature is 4/4, meaning four crotchet beats to a bar.
Mr Brit: Yes, thank you.

Mr Brit: Now, can you identify any dynamics markings in the score?
Me: Yeah, there's a bit of a crescendo here, which means getting louder, and some diminuendo, which is the opposite of crescendo, of course, where you should gradually play softer, and there's a bit of fortissimo here, which means loud, and some mezzo pianoforte, which .. uhhh .. should be played medium .. umm .. soft .. ehmm .. *ramble patters off to a mumble at the sight of Mr Brit staring at me like I suddenly sprouted fangs...*

Mr Brit: Uh, okay. Thank you. Next, are there any 16th notes in the score?
Me: Yes.
*Pause*
Mr Brit: Errr .. can you point them out to me, please?
Me: Oh. Err .. yes. *Idiot!!!* Here.

Mr Brit: Right, now, could you please show me, on the score, an example of a raast?
Me: *Blink* A raast?
Mr Brit: Yes, a raast.
*My mind went completely blank here, because what the hell is a raast???!?!! If it’s some technique or grouping pattern, DrumSifu didn’t teach me anything about it!! What the f*ck is a Raast?!?!!*
Mr Brit: *Noting the silence* Umm .. *speaking slowly as if to a complete moron* .. can .. you .. point .. out .. ONE .. raast?
Me: *Feeling faint* Urrrm … no?
Mr Brit: *Shocked* You don’t know what a rest is?
Me: (Understanding finally dawns!) *Yelling at the top of my voice out of excitement* A REST! A rEst!! Of course I know what a rEst is!! This (pointing at a rEst with flourish!) is a rEst! A crotchet rEst!!!
Mr Brit: *Releases a breath of relief .. or of gratefulness that the session was finally coming to an end and he could finally be rid of this nincompoop* Yes, thank you!! Must have been the language, huh? *Wry, lopsided grin.*
Me: (Apa 'language' pulak mat salleh ni? We're both speaking English, innit?) *In a censorious tone* Yes, it was definitely your accent.
*Oer. Did I just manage to deduct all my marks with that comment???!?!!*
Mr Brit: *Smile remains stiffly pasted on his face, looking like he was torn between tossing me out the 5th floor window, or laughing himself hysterically to death. Finally settles for just tossing me out of the room.* Right. Thank you. You may leave now. Now.

Sigh.

Jess, Jess. What are we going to do with you?

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Of Things Inane, and My Passion for Rock

*yawn* Okay, streak of mad-philosopher-genius ramblings over. Back to things inane.

~@~

First and foremost, the Star Wars Personality Test. Following in the wake of MzMin, Nads, Hani, Ike and God knows how many countless others, I have given in to the total pointlessness of this test. Aaaah! Who am I kidding?! Everyone and their grandmothers know how much I love useless Internet Tests! *G* It is nevertheless enlightening to know that if I were in Star Wars Universe, I would be


:: how jedi are you? ::


A wrinkled, green, deformed Hobbit, I am! Pleased, I am not. Uncertain with the results, I am.

I thought the test was a bit skewed, gender-ly speaking. If it had been less gender-preference oriented, I would have been the female equivalent of Hans Solo. Maybe Hana not-Solo-for-long? Only I'd've been trying to get into Luke Skywalker's pants. Hey, Mark Hamill is pretty hot in the movies. ;o) Realising, however, that the test is limited to actual characters, I resign to the fact that I am the inverted-speeched Yoda.

~@~

Amir Yussof will be staging(?) an informal performance (can you call it 'staging a performance' if it's informal???) at the La Bodega Lounge in Bangsar July 14th, 10pm-ish. It'll be more of a jam session with some other music-friends of his. Whatever. I love his music, and if it gets monotonous (which I doubt it will), I can always just sit there (or stand; seating will be limited) and oogle at his swoon-some chunness. I wanna I wanna. Anyone interested in joining me? Otherwise, I'll have to find a way to talk DrMucho into being my escort. Hell, if it comes down to it, I'll go by myself if need be. It's just that it'd be a lot more fun if there was company. *flutter eyelashes flutter* Oh, admission is free, btw.

~@~

My mum's been bugging me to get tickets to "Barney and Friends" and "Pinocchio on Ice" for LittleSumo. I'll get tix to the Pinocchio show for her, but I'll be damned if I have anything to do with Barney!

~@~

Currently headbanging to Trapt. They're quite good. "Time For Change" and "Dissemble" are particularly catchy, although I don't like "Headstrong" all that much. Yum. Bring on the Rock (music), babeh.

There's just something about this genre of music which strikes a chord in me. I can't describe it. It just feels .. right, in the way that R&B, rap, pop, etc. doesn't.

Btw, I can't stand black music, barring Jazz & the Blues. There's just something so nerve-gratingly annoying about the .. 'blackness' of the lyrics/beat/attitude that irritates me like little else does. General rule: Any song with a lot of 'uh-huh, yeah, a-aight, c'mon c'mon gimme some suga', I would almost most assuredly despise. Oh, and don't even get me started on Malaysian 'homeboys' who think they're 'down wi' it'. *roll eyes* Aku tau lah korang gelap macam kicap, but that don't make you no 'nigger', a-aight? Loooosers with a capital 'L' lah, beb.

But, Rock. Sigh.

DrMucho, who, being gay, listens to nothing but Westlife-esque pop, Cher, and club dance, gave Rock a try once, in the efforts to understand me a little better. I couldn't say he was exactly overcome with the urge to denounce his crap music in lieu of my more real music (*winkz*), but he did notice that MY music (as he puts it) is very angry, which, he surmises, is probably the reason for my (sometimes) extremely acid disposition and painfully sharp tongue.

Moi? Acid? Nooooo...

But as for Rock Music being Angry Music? That's like saying Water is Wet. But even though I know this, I didn't truly realise it until he pointed it out. Even the 'ballads' are raw. Oh yaa hoooorrrr.... Even being happy in rock songs has an edge to it. A certain irony.

Yet, there is no other music that touches my soul so intimately. I suppose it could be said that I identify with the music, that I understand it. All the nuances of the music: the chord arrangements/progressions, the tempo of the music, the beats, the harmony, sometimes even the disharmony, it's every little thing about it that makes my soul soar with the music. Or rage with the music. *winkz*

Even my favourite love songs are of the rock persuasion! lolz. Seriously! My wedding playlist will read like a rock concert repertoire. Oh! And the man I end up with, whoever he may be, has to love rock at least as much as I do! Otherwise, either he or I will naik gila, oi!! ;op BTW, I've sworn to, without further question or hesitation, marry the man who spontaneously dedicates my ultimate favourite love song to me. Yes, it's of the rock genre. No, it has absolutely NO lyrics whatsoever, but for me, that song describes everything love means to me. lolz. Yes, the Power of music. Or more accurately, the Power music holds over me! Just to give you an idea of what I think a good love song is, I'll throw in Silverchair's "Without You" as an example. Now that's what I call a great love song!!

It is because of rock music that I was inspired enough to pick up the guitar and learn it myself. It was Rock that inspired me to haul my lazy bum out of the house to sign up for drum lessons. (My drum exam is next Wednesday, btw. Wish me luck!) Heck, I even picked up the violin because of Rock too! lolz.

One of the best sensations I've ever felt is the shiver down my spine when I hear a particularly good acoustic arrangement. *Shiver* There's nothing like it in the world!! The Goo Goo Dolls are the best at this. I've lost count of how many music-orgasms this band has given me. Johnny Rzeznik is my idol, my hero, my fantasy. Ladies and Gents, I give you The Most Beautiful Man in the World.



But my love for Rock is not at the exclusion of other genres of music. Music is my passion. Rock is my favourite, but I love Music, in general, with a Passion. Classical, Latin, Jazz, you name it. Just not 'nigger' music. ;o) That's why I have made it my Life's Mission to study (and master!) as many musical instruments as possible. I've got the piano and guitar thing down, and am currently working on the violin and drums. Next on the list are the erhu and clarinet. After that, we'll see. *G*

BTW, I just made the downpayment (macam beli kereta!) for a 12-string Maton steel-strings acoustic guitar this afternoon. *swooon* I've been eyeing it for years! Costing me a fair bit, but it's worth every sen! Thank goodness they're letting me pay in installments. I'm in Heaven!!

.. and whatever it is, The Goo Goo Dolls rock. OK? OK. Bilalah they all nak datang KL?!?!! Okay lah, I'll settle for Singapore even!!!

Dah lah. Enough rambling for now. I leave you to gaze upon the hypnotizing beauty of Johnny Rzeznik. OMG, he's the stuff XxX dreams are made of. Well, mine anyways. *sigh* Those heavy-lidded eyes. It makes you wonder what you have to do to make them open wide. *lascivious wink*





Thursday, July 01, 2004

Ghosts of Friends Past

Last night was a night of eerie dreams. Okay, one dream, that I remember, but it was definitely eerie.

Maybe I need to drink more organic soy shakes???

I dreamt I was in a room, which was empty save for a bare wrought-iron bed frame, and a simple wood table which I was sitting at. I wasn't doing anything in particular, just sitting. Then, one at a time, friends whom I have not seen nor made contact with for several years kept coming through the door and looked around the room as if searching for something. They looked right through me, however, as though I was invisible. Then after looking around awhile, they left without finding whatever it was they came in for.

This went on the whole night. Sometimes, some of them came in more than once, but none of them ever said anything. It spooked me. There was a palpable air of foreboding throughout. No words were passed or exchanged, nor was my presence ever acknowledged. It remains uncertain as to who was the spectre, me or them? But what remained unchanged was the way all of them seem to be searching for something.

One of them, however, came in more frequently than the rest. HotStuff was a very close friend of mine in college, but we have barely seen each other since he left for Australia. He's Bruneian, btw, so even when school is out for the summer, I don't get to see him. I've seen him maybe twice in the last 4 years when he made short trips to KL, but we used to write each other on a fortnightly basis for the first couple of years and he used to call every year on my birthday.

No, there was never anything between us. MzMin and I talked about whether purely platonic friendships with males were possible, and for me, he was it. We got along superbly. We could talk for hours and hours about everything, laughed endlessly about the silliest things, flirted outrageously and filthily, and yet, there was never a moment where romance ever entered the picture. I'm expecting a lot of skepticism over all this, but that's up to you. All I am doing is telling it like it is.

He was my date for our Prom, and he played the guitar accompaniment for me when I performed that same night. Don't ask about that, it was sooo bad ... *absolutely mortified* He also should have been the King to my Queen that night. Dangit! He lost by only two votes!! Ironically, I won by only two votes.

It was kind of like having a girlfriend, only not. It was such a comfortable friendship, one that fits you like a second nature. To sum things up, I think he said it best when he once said to me, "Jas, you're like a hug that lasts all day." Yup, he calls me his all-day-long-hug of a friend. Though I'm supposed to be the one who's better with words, he summed it all up in that simple sentence. That is what our friendship was like. A huge hug which lasted all day.

However, communication stalled about a year and a half or so ago. I guess we've both been a little lax about keeping in touch. I know I can get pretty lazy sometimes.

But in my dream yesterday, he would come in every so often, look around, then leave. The more often he came in, his expression became correspondingly more furrowed, more confused. Once in a while, I would softly call out to him, and it was as though he could sense it, although he couldn't hear me, and the more perplexed he would seem.

Finally, he came in, looked around awhile, searching, and his eyes finally rested on me. All at once, tenderness replaced confusion. He smiled gently and softly called out my name.

It was then I woke, filled with this inexplicable sense of dread. I don't know why, but something feels .. unsettled.

I've sent him an email. I hope he answers. Promptly.