I've been thinking.
*jejeng*
Lol.
So, I was sitting at my desk, bored out of my skull, alternately working on the fecking MTO whilst playing Minesweeper, and I started thinking, right? I started thinking of the things I used to want, the things I always thought would make me complete, right? Like, the way I felt two years ago when .. *aherrm* .. when I was young(er) and in love with somebody else. And as I thought of the thoughts I used to think when I thought thoughts of what I thought I wanted (eheh), I (as in present, old(er) me) thought to myself and chuckled, "My, wasn't I naive?"
Then I stopped, mid-chuckle. Wait a minute. Why do I, now, think I was naive then?
I suppose being naive is believing in ideals, wanting those ideals and believing those ideals to be real, to be achievable and reasonable, when people who know better know they don't exist in the real world, that they are only the fanciful notions these young whippersnappers get.. Ooooooh, wait til they really grow up, they'll know better.
And it made me wonder, when did I become so jaded?
Were all the things I wished for then really so ridiculous? Were they really nothing but the fanciful ideals of a person only just getting the hang of this 'being an adult' business?
Were they naive because now that I am wiser and know better, I know that they are all things that will most likely never come true?
Or were they naive because they were fanciful ideas impressed upon me by my peers, romance novels, American soaps and teen dramas, which I will unashamedly admit I watched copiously in my teens?
Or do I only believe now that they cannot possibly come true because I've let myself become affected by the cynicism which seems to be the prerequisite for being an 'adult'? Look at all those kids trying to be 'mature', has nobody ever wondered why they are so cynical, so sarcastic, their comments so biting? Undoubtedly, they take it to extremes, even those 8-year-olds nowadays, but has nobody ever wondered where they learn it from? Does nobody ask, "Who are these children emulating?"
So, which is true?
I don't know, but I'm starting to think that, y'know, if all those/these things I want/wanted are good, so what if everyone else thinks I am naive, unrealistic, foolish. Why should I give up trying just because nobody thinks it can be done. I think it can be done, and I will make it happen. I don't see why I should give up a dream just because other people laugh at me. Their derision is not worth the sacrifice of my ideals.
And there may be a reason for all those foolish themes in all those books/dramas/stories I read as a teen; that a lot of other people often wish for the same things too.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Bila Larut Malam
Of late, I've been having difficulty writing. Everytime I draft a post, it always seems shite - all the eloquence of a stumbling elk trying to piss and fart while outrunning a predator. Really. And it bugs the hell out of me.
But there's something about late nights that loosens my tongue, figuratively speaking. Thoughts take shape seemingly of their own accord, and the words flow effortlessly. Perhaps the tiredness, the weariness results in unguardedness, the necessary state for unbridled thought; no inhibitions.
Unfortunately, though, since I started this current job, I find myself dropping off to sleep out of sheer exhaustion before 11pm, most nights. You go to sleep as soon as you can because you know that if you don't, you'll be fucked tomorrow. There isn't time to relax, to wind down, to sit and think .. and to write.
I miss writing like this, I miss having the time to write like this. I miss it so much.
Also, now, I have to be careful of what I write about. It used to be just me. I used to write about how I felt, what I did, what I thought of things, just me me me me me, with no significant impact on anyone else. These days though, it isn't just about me anymore. Even if what I write about now is only just about what happened to me, it no longer affects only me.
That recent post of mine, my God, the amount of trouble it caused.
I must admit, I find myself needing to consciously make that adjustment; being aware that the things I say now affects someone else very personally too. It isn't easy. I've become so accustomed to being self-reliant and independent, and having my actions affect primarily only me, affecting others only on a small-scale, at most, that I find this adjustment to be somewhat difficult.
By difficult, I don't mean that I am unwilling to make the change, but that I am sometimes unaware of the effects my actions would cause on the other end. And how strange it is to be so strongly affected by something someone else does, how so very strange. How personally we take the other person's comments, because innocent as it may have been meant, you feel it reflects on you personally, intimately. I am only just discovering and learning that now.
It's a funny thing, this whole 'relationship' business.
:o)
Moving on. Neil Gaiman will be in Singapore! Book signings and interviews and talks! Aaaaargh! I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!!!!! But because it is on the 4th - 6th July (ie. Monday - Wednesday), I kenot go!
Aaaaargh! I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!!!!!
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
But there's something about late nights that loosens my tongue, figuratively speaking. Thoughts take shape seemingly of their own accord, and the words flow effortlessly. Perhaps the tiredness, the weariness results in unguardedness, the necessary state for unbridled thought; no inhibitions.
Unfortunately, though, since I started this current job, I find myself dropping off to sleep out of sheer exhaustion before 11pm, most nights. You go to sleep as soon as you can because you know that if you don't, you'll be fucked tomorrow. There isn't time to relax, to wind down, to sit and think .. and to write.
I miss writing like this, I miss having the time to write like this. I miss it so much.
Also, now, I have to be careful of what I write about. It used to be just me. I used to write about how I felt, what I did, what I thought of things, just me me me me me, with no significant impact on anyone else. These days though, it isn't just about me anymore. Even if what I write about now is only just about what happened to me, it no longer affects only me.
That recent post of mine, my God, the amount of trouble it caused.
I must admit, I find myself needing to consciously make that adjustment; being aware that the things I say now affects someone else very personally too. It isn't easy. I've become so accustomed to being self-reliant and independent, and having my actions affect primarily only me, affecting others only on a small-scale, at most, that I find this adjustment to be somewhat difficult.
By difficult, I don't mean that I am unwilling to make the change, but that I am sometimes unaware of the effects my actions would cause on the other end. And how strange it is to be so strongly affected by something someone else does, how so very strange. How personally we take the other person's comments, because innocent as it may have been meant, you feel it reflects on you personally, intimately. I am only just discovering and learning that now.
It's a funny thing, this whole 'relationship' business.
:o)
Moving on. Neil Gaiman will be in Singapore! Book signings and interviews and talks! Aaaaargh! I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!!!!! But because it is on the 4th - 6th July (ie. Monday - Wednesday), I kenot go!
Aaaaargh! I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!!!!!
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Yo-gagony & Pi-aching-lates
My aching body! Oh my poor poor pooooor aching body! It never gets better. Never! Every week I go, I keep thinking that this week, sap sap sui! (piece of cake) But nooooooo ... They'll introduce yet another new move which will leave my muscles juddering and sweating buckets. I tell you, I sweat more lying on that yoga mat than I do half an hour of proper workout on the treadmill! How is that possible?
I'm hoping, of course, that there will be some outcome to all this! Preferably noticable. ;op And tiring as it is, though, and ache as I might for the whole following week, I love it. *G*
I know that Pilates and Yoga are meant to complement each other, but I don't know, I prefer yoga to pilates. Got more seni la. It's more .. genteel, more fluid, concentrating not only the 'physical' part of it, ie. stretching, etc., but also the grace of the movements, the art in the exercise. Pilates, however, is more straighforward, concentrating on making the most out of the workout. I think it's very abrupt. An hour of yoga seems to fly by whereas an hour of pilates feels .. well, like an hour of pilates. :o) I always, always walk out of yoga sessions floating. The aching only starts tomorrow.
Exercise!! I wouldn't call myself a health-freak, faaaaar from it! I love my Burger King deep-fried Go Mozzerella! cheese fingers too much. OMG, few things are more delicious and comforting than that! Breadcrumbs-coated, deep fried mozzerella cheese sticks! How much more artery clogging can things get! Lolz .. but I do try to be somewhat sensible about it, I've limited myself to having it only once a month - at most. I don't think it is an unreasonable compromise. *G*
Hmm .. where was I? Oh yes. Exercise! I never thought I'd ever see the day I'd willingly exercise, even look forward to it, but I suppose I really do enjoy it! *cough*
Frankly speaking, I find the cardio work to be a bit of a chore, but I've found that you really do feel better after exercise. Tired, sweaty and somewhat out of breath, but really energized as well. A sort of buzz. I don't know. It could, of course, just be the shortage of oxygen to the brain that makes me delusional, but hey! You can't beat that kind of feel-good high! :o)
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
I'm hoping, of course, that there will be some outcome to all this! Preferably noticable. ;op And tiring as it is, though, and ache as I might for the whole following week, I love it. *G*
I know that Pilates and Yoga are meant to complement each other, but I don't know, I prefer yoga to pilates. Got more seni la. It's more .. genteel, more fluid, concentrating not only the 'physical' part of it, ie. stretching, etc., but also the grace of the movements, the art in the exercise. Pilates, however, is more straighforward, concentrating on making the most out of the workout. I think it's very abrupt. An hour of yoga seems to fly by whereas an hour of pilates feels .. well, like an hour of pilates. :o) I always, always walk out of yoga sessions floating. The aching only starts tomorrow.
Exercise!! I wouldn't call myself a health-freak, faaaaar from it! I love my Burger King deep-fried Go Mozzerella! cheese fingers too much. OMG, few things are more delicious and comforting than that! Breadcrumbs-coated, deep fried mozzerella cheese sticks! How much more artery clogging can things get! Lolz .. but I do try to be somewhat sensible about it, I've limited myself to having it only once a month - at most. I don't think it is an unreasonable compromise. *G*
Hmm .. where was I? Oh yes. Exercise! I never thought I'd ever see the day I'd willingly exercise, even look forward to it, but I suppose I really do enjoy it! *cough*
Frankly speaking, I find the cardio work to be a bit of a chore, but I've found that you really do feel better after exercise. Tired, sweaty and somewhat out of breath, but really energized as well. A sort of buzz. I don't know. It could, of course, just be the shortage of oxygen to the brain that makes me delusional, but hey! You can't beat that kind of feel-good high! :o)
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Monday, June 20, 2005
A Woman's Worth
Friday, June 17, 2005
Forever - Ben Harper
Not talkin’ ’bout a year
No not three or four
I don’t want that kind of forever
In my life anymore
Forever always seems
To be wrong when it begins
But forever never seems
To be wrong when it ends
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you
People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin’ ’round all over town
Givin’ their forever away
But no not me
I won’t let my forever roam
And now I hope I can find
My forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you
Like a handless clock with numbers
An infinite of time
No not the forever found
Only in the mind
Forever always seems
To be wrong when things begin
But forever never seems
To be wrong when things end
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you
~Forever~Ben Harper~
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
No not three or four
I don’t want that kind of forever
In my life anymore
Forever always seems
To be wrong when it begins
But forever never seems
To be wrong when it ends
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you
People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin’ ’round all over town
Givin’ their forever away
But no not me
I won’t let my forever roam
And now I hope I can find
My forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you
Like a handless clock with numbers
An infinite of time
No not the forever found
Only in the mind
Forever always seems
To be wrong when things begin
But forever never seems
To be wrong when things end
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you
~Forever~Ben Harper~
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Bertolak-Ansur
Sometimes I feel so .. inept .. at this whole relationship business. Sometimes it's so frustrating it makes me want to tear his hair (ahem) out by the roots.. and his hair is not the only thing of his you want to tear out by the roots...
Things were a whole lot more uncomplicated when you haven't got someone else to consider. You could do whatever it is you like without worrying the other person might not like it. It's like that when you're in a relationship, isn't it? You like something so much that you want the other person to like it just as much, then get sorely disappointed when they don't. And you think that maybe because of that, they now love you a little less. Ridiculous. True, nonetheless.
Compromise. Now there is a word that didn't happen too often when I was single. Oh, sure, I've compromised before, but I've realised that I hadn't even begun to comprehend what that word meant then. *rolleyes*
I'll admit, I'm spoiled. I'm used to having things my way, and I'm very good at getting things my way. I'm spoiled rotten. And it was easy to say, "My Way or the Highway" back then. My problem now is that I still want things My Way .. but I don't want the Highway.
Why is it that you feel you now have so much to lose? What makes this one person worth so much? I don't know. I've often wondered, but I don't know. All I know is that he's worth the weight of the world in gold.
Sigh. Doesn't make the compromising any easier tho. ;oP
Sometimes, I don't know. I really, really don't know. How do people do it? How do people stay together years and years? 50 years?!?!!! O_o
Sometimes I feel so tired. I'll be honest and admit that sometimes I wonder why I do it. Sometimes I wonder, what's the point? Well, not him specifically, but what's the point of all this? of any of this??
But I've always believed that if you can itemise the things you love about a person, you can just as easily check them off.
Oh, he was so romantic! Not anymore! *skriiiitch*
Oh, he used to pick me up from work everyday. Not anymore! *skriiiiitch*
Oh, we used to have the exact same taste in music/books/art/food/sports. Not anymore! *skkkkkkritch*
Oh, we used to finish each other's sentences! Ermm .. nope! *skkkkkrrriiiiaaatch!*
What happens when he stops doing all the things you loved about him in the first place. Of course, the argument could be that if you don't know the reasons for it to begin with, then you wouldn't really know if it was real to begin with, n'cest pas?
If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it is to trust my instinct. I know it sounds, ummm, unreliable, but over the years, especially in the last few, I've come to realise that sometimes instinct recognizes at the outset things that your head refuses to acknowledge, sometimes out of sheer stubbornness. Sometimes you want something so badly that the head ignores everything else. And I've realised that instinct cannot be fooled, the head only realises this much later.
I'm rambling. Relationships are much harder than I thought it would be. Also, ironically, it's much harder now than it was in the beginning. I have so much more to lose now. Is this natural of relationships? I don't know. But at the same time, some things become more natural. Some things become more effortless, and you don't take them for granted. Eeeeesh .. but it still *nnnyyyyyyeh*s me to compromise. >oP
As much as relationships take out of you, I've noticed it gives back so much more. That every inch you give seems to give you a mile back. Sometimes it doesn't seem it at the moment of giving - sometimes that pisses the hell right out of you - but later always seems more .. peaceful.
Once you've cleaned the shit off the fan, of course.
;o)
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Things were a whole lot more uncomplicated when you haven't got someone else to consider. You could do whatever it is you like without worrying the other person might not like it. It's like that when you're in a relationship, isn't it? You like something so much that you want the other person to like it just as much, then get sorely disappointed when they don't. And you think that maybe because of that, they now love you a little less. Ridiculous. True, nonetheless.
Compromise. Now there is a word that didn't happen too often when I was single. Oh, sure, I've compromised before, but I've realised that I hadn't even begun to comprehend what that word meant then. *rolleyes*
I'll admit, I'm spoiled. I'm used to having things my way, and I'm very good at getting things my way. I'm spoiled rotten. And it was easy to say, "My Way or the Highway" back then. My problem now is that I still want things My Way .. but I don't want the Highway.
Why is it that you feel you now have so much to lose? What makes this one person worth so much? I don't know. I've often wondered, but I don't know. All I know is that he's worth the weight of the world in gold.
Sigh. Doesn't make the compromising any easier tho. ;oP
Sometimes, I don't know. I really, really don't know. How do people do it? How do people stay together years and years? 50 years?!?!!! O_o
Sometimes I feel so tired. I'll be honest and admit that sometimes I wonder why I do it. Sometimes I wonder, what's the point? Well, not him specifically, but what's the point of all this? of any of this??
But I've always believed that if you can itemise the things you love about a person, you can just as easily check them off.
Oh, he was so romantic! Not anymore! *skriiiitch*
Oh, he used to pick me up from work everyday. Not anymore! *skriiiiitch*
Oh, we used to have the exact same taste in music/books/art/food/sports. Not anymore! *skkkkkkritch*
Oh, we used to finish each other's sentences! Ermm .. nope! *skkkkkrrriiiiaaatch!*
What happens when he stops doing all the things you loved about him in the first place. Of course, the argument could be that if you don't know the reasons for it to begin with, then you wouldn't really know if it was real to begin with, n'cest pas?
If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it is to trust my instinct. I know it sounds, ummm, unreliable, but over the years, especially in the last few, I've come to realise that sometimes instinct recognizes at the outset things that your head refuses to acknowledge, sometimes out of sheer stubbornness. Sometimes you want something so badly that the head ignores everything else. And I've realised that instinct cannot be fooled, the head only realises this much later.
I'm rambling. Relationships are much harder than I thought it would be. Also, ironically, it's much harder now than it was in the beginning. I have so much more to lose now. Is this natural of relationships? I don't know. But at the same time, some things become more natural. Some things become more effortless, and you don't take them for granted. Eeeeesh .. but it still *nnnyyyyyyeh*s me to compromise. >oP
As much as relationships take out of you, I've noticed it gives back so much more. That every inch you give seems to give you a mile back. Sometimes it doesn't seem it at the moment of giving - sometimes that pisses the hell right out of you - but later always seems more .. peaceful.
Once you've cleaned the shit off the fan, of course.
;o)
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Raaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!
Eeeeee!!!! I am so fed up with my Internet connection!!!
I had typed in this looooong entry, and the fecking thing disconnected without my realising it .. and when I clicked on the 'POST' button, the page changed and *blip!!* my post was gone.
Feck feck feck feck feck.
Damn you tmnet!! Daaaaaamn you streamyx for not working and making me resort to tmnet!! Daaaaaaaaamn yoooooooooooouuuuu!!!
A proper post is just going to have to wait til I get over being pissed off with yukky Malaysian internet service providers....
*grumbles*
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
I had typed in this looooong entry, and the fecking thing disconnected without my realising it .. and when I clicked on the 'POST' button, the page changed and *blip!!* my post was gone.
Feck feck feck feck feck.
Damn you tmnet!! Daaaaaamn you streamyx for not working and making me resort to tmnet!! Daaaaaaaaamn yoooooooooooouuuuu!!!
A proper post is just going to have to wait til I get over being pissed off with yukky Malaysian internet service providers....
*grumbles*
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Friday, May 20, 2005
Quiz! The Keys To My Heart!
Yet another Internet Quiz! Courtesy of MzMin.
Yes, ermm ,,,, No, Yes, No Comment, Yes, Yes, Yes .. and NO! The answers could also just indicate I like certain animals more than others? ;o)
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
The Keys to Your Heart |
| You are attracted to good manners and elegance. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
| Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
| Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
| You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
| In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. |
Yes, ermm ,,,, No, Yes, No Comment, Yes, Yes, Yes .. and NO! The answers could also just indicate I like certain animals more than others? ;o)
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Happy Birthday To Yoooooooooou!!!
It's my baby's birthday today!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!
We're painting the town red tonight. *G*
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!
We're painting the town red tonight. *G*
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The Swamp Thing
So, I was hired as the Project Engineer, right? As there aren't any current projects, my job, at the moment, constitutes reading up on the equipment we supply and methods of installation. Right.
My boss, however, thinks that I may not be able to deal with possibly difficult contractors because as he sees it, my 'hands are too soft'. They, apparently, are too animated when I talk. How is that relevant??
He also doubts my ability to work in tough site conditions as it is bound to make me 'sweat'. It's usually very hot, you know?
He doesn't think I can competently even find my way around a work site, but refuses to find out whether or not I can by REFUSING to let me go to one. Why? He doesn't have time to 'teach me'. I never asked him to babysit me! I want to look at the equipment!! I said as much, but he was adamant in being arsey.
Oh, and he walked up to my desk today to tell me that he has secured a contract, but that he will head the project himself, despite having soooooo much work to do, on TOP of marketing to handle (he has a sales/marketing engineer, btw) that he just doesn't know how he'll handle it all!!
"Ummm ... but you did hire me to handle, or at the very least assist with the projects, right?"
"Yeah, so I don't know if you want to be involved in this project ..."
WTF???!! "Yes, I do."
"... Okay, if you want to be involved, then I suggest that you develop your intelligence as soon as possible."
What the flaming fuck....????!!!!
I swear, I was steaming. There is no pleasing this guy! I've been here a week and a half, and already he had me do this full presentation for one of the equipment, just to see how much I've learned in a week. Okay, fair enough, but despite being able to field every question he shot at me, and despite my asking 'interesting and insightful questions' (his OWN words, I swear!) back at him, he "still doesn't find much to be impressed with me just yet". Does he expect me to design and build Titanic II in a week??!!
We went on a site visit to demonstrate another equipment to potential buyers, and he asked me to write a brief report based on my observations of the PEOPLE involved and their reactions, NOT on the equipment that was being demonstrated. Fine. We got back to the office after lunch, I wrote it out and submitted it before I went home. That was Thursday.
He didn't read it until Tuesday, and chewed me out for being tardy! And lazy! That was it. Unfair is unfair and this was a bit too much. It was a tribute to my mother the way I held my temper in check and politely, albeit through gritted teeth, explained my side of it.
And after he had read through my report, commented that I didn't seem to look at things from a technical point-of-view, which suggests that I may be unsuitable for field work.
What the ...??!!! I give up!
So I'll see my three-month probation out, as I want to see what it'll be like once the project goes underway. In the meanwhile, I think I'll root around for something new.
Hahahaaaa!!!
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
My boss, however, thinks that I may not be able to deal with possibly difficult contractors because as he sees it, my 'hands are too soft'. They, apparently, are too animated when I talk. How is that relevant??
He also doubts my ability to work in tough site conditions as it is bound to make me 'sweat'. It's usually very hot, you know?
He doesn't think I can competently even find my way around a work site, but refuses to find out whether or not I can by REFUSING to let me go to one. Why? He doesn't have time to 'teach me'. I never asked him to babysit me! I want to look at the equipment!! I said as much, but he was adamant in being arsey.
Oh, and he walked up to my desk today to tell me that he has secured a contract, but that he will head the project himself, despite having soooooo much work to do, on TOP of marketing to handle (he has a sales/marketing engineer, btw) that he just doesn't know how he'll handle it all!!
"Ummm ... but you did hire me to handle, or at the very least assist with the projects, right?"
"Yeah, so I don't know if you want to be involved in this project ..."
WTF???!! "Yes, I do."
"... Okay, if you want to be involved, then I suggest that you develop your intelligence as soon as possible."
What the flaming fuck....????!!!!
I swear, I was steaming. There is no pleasing this guy! I've been here a week and a half, and already he had me do this full presentation for one of the equipment, just to see how much I've learned in a week. Okay, fair enough, but despite being able to field every question he shot at me, and despite my asking 'interesting and insightful questions' (his OWN words, I swear!) back at him, he "still doesn't find much to be impressed with me just yet". Does he expect me to design and build Titanic II in a week??!!
We went on a site visit to demonstrate another equipment to potential buyers, and he asked me to write a brief report based on my observations of the PEOPLE involved and their reactions, NOT on the equipment that was being demonstrated. Fine. We got back to the office after lunch, I wrote it out and submitted it before I went home. That was Thursday.
He didn't read it until Tuesday, and chewed me out for being tardy! And lazy! That was it. Unfair is unfair and this was a bit too much. It was a tribute to my mother the way I held my temper in check and politely, albeit through gritted teeth, explained my side of it.
And after he had read through my report, commented that I didn't seem to look at things from a technical point-of-view, which suggests that I may be unsuitable for field work.
What the ...??!!! I give up!
So I'll see my three-month probation out, as I want to see what it'll be like once the project goes underway. In the meanwhile, I think I'll root around for something new.
Hahahaaaa!!!
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Feeling:
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