What Being Malaysian Means To Me

The title makes me feel like I'm writing an essay for school. *winkz*

On the night of the 29th of August, I went out for dinner with a few friends. Of course, the matter of Merdeka Day came up, it being the night before the eve of and all. What came up in the ensuing conversation, with regards to the forementioned topic, was:

1. that it would be a public holiday, and
1.1. what will you be doing on Tuesday (Merdeka Day), ah??

2. tomorrow night: countdown. You counting down or not?
2.1. where? BBWalk? Dataran? KLCC?
2.1.1. eh, i heard got AF/Erra/Too Phat/etc. concert at yah-de-yah place. you going there izzit?
2.2. countdown at club, ah?
2.1.1. which club, haaaaaaaa?

All I could do was sit there and listen to the conversation with absolute dismay. What made me even more distraught was another topic which wove itself intermittently through the conversation, which was the subject of P(ermanent)R(esidence)ship in a foreign country.

How the hell does someone talk about applying for PR - and possibly migrating - in the same breath that they mention our Independence Day? No, less a matter of 'how do they?' than a matter of 'how can they?'.

Patriotism is, apparently, dead in most places. We were sitting in the middle of a busy eatery, and all around me I could hear plans of where who would be going for the countdown, which club, which bar, which pub they would go to, meet who and who and who, call so and so to join us, then can paaaaaarty (I hear such-and-such club is having Happy Hours till 2am, wor!).

If only these people really listened to what they were saying. Hello, it's Merdeka Day? A day to commemorate the day our country gained its independence 47 years ago? Sure, a lot of us were not yet around to witness the Event first-hand, but isn't that why we celebrate it every year? To make us aware of it?

I'm finally beginning to understand the purpose of all those tedious Sejarah (History) lessons in school. Sure, they were boring, but now I see just how necessary it all was, and still is.

It made me sad that grown adults talked of such a significant day in such an insignificant manner. It made me sad that Merdeka Day was a day to go have dinner at some fancy restaurant and then head for expensive wine(s) at the nearest lounge. (Merdeka Day, what? Special day! Must celebrate, so must spend money la!) Did being a free country really mean so little to them? For crying out loud, they can do that on any other day! Does the special day meant to commemorate the day we achieved Independence mean so little to them?

These past few years have seen more wars than I care for, the most recent being the war in Iraq. Poor, poor Iraq. Freed of one tyrant, only to be the lackey of another. Does America really think they fooled anybody by declaring Iraq 'independent' now? Poor, poor Iraq. Thing is, this issue is not even really over yet. Are Malaysians so thick-skulled that they cannot learn from the mistakes or misfortunes of others? Thinking about the whole Iraq issue makes me appreciate my country's independence even more.

But what disappointed me the most was the topic of PR. All my dining companions, with me being the only exception, were either:
1. in the process of obtaining a PR,
2. applying for PR soon, or
3. interested and will work on applying for PR in the near future.

Countries of choice, in a roughly descending order: Australia, US, UK, Singapore (bomb Singapore!!). Australia was by far the favourite, owing to the fact that many already have relatives of some sort already living there. ('80's migration boom.)

To me, listening to my fellow countrymen talking about swearing by another country, it felt almost tantamount to betrayal. I'll allow that I may have been overreacting to it a wee bit, but to say it didn't sit well with me would be grossly understating how I felt. So, feeling the (possibly unreasonable) need to 'defend' my country somewhat (against my own countrymen! Oh, the pain!), I asked them why they even want a PR status in someone else's country.

They looked at me as if I were a simpleton, an idiot who never bothered to find out what went on beyond the length of my own nose. The reasons are simple, Jas.
1. Jobs. It'll be much easier to get a job in Australia, coz most of the time, if you don't have at least PR status, your CV won't even be looked at.
2. Careers. Work overseas, got standard, mah! If you want to come back to work here (although only God would know why you would want to!), better chance of getting a high-paying position! But why come back? Overseas pay in USD or AUSD. More money, what! Come back here, get paid in Ringgit, cheh! Peanuts, man!!
3. Status. People back home hear you live overseas, waaaaa! Glamour, man. What's more, even your family back home can tumpang glamour, got relatives in angmoh country, almost just as good as an angmoh themselves!
4. And most importantly, Security. Ya what? If Malaysia suddenly got war one day, how? Must have a security net somewhere! Somewhere to run to in times of trouble! You stupid, ah? You mean you never thought of all this before?

Nationalism is well and truly dead, at least with that group. Loyalty is a dirty 7-letter word, patriotism a forgotten sentiment.

To say I was disgusted is putting it mildly. I was so offended, at more than just their thoughtless remarks, but at their sentiments as well! And their gall! We were just talking about Hari Merdeka!!!

Jobs, careers, money to be made, Malaysia is a rich land, with more than enough opportunities for them to make oodles and oodles of money! What makes them think that the foreigners are going to welcome outsiders into their countries with open arms and press them to their bosoms? Ei, you are going there to take their jobs, take their money, live on land that would more rightly be theirs. What the hell makes you think they're not going to fight you, if not openly then in a million small ways? Come on, lah! What makes you think that they're not going to treat you the same way we treat Indonesian, Filipino and Bangladeshi workers here, no matter how professional you may be, ha? To them, you are Third World, man! So many people, when thinking of migrating, think that they'll be welcomed with rose petals strewn in their paths.

As for security reasons. *snort* This disgusted me the most.

"If got war, then how? Must have somewhere to run to! Safer that way! You should be more long-sighted, Jas!"

Kepala hotak biul engkau! What the hell makes you think I'll abandon my country in her direst time of need?!?!!! If there is a war, like hell I will stay and fight for my country! This is my home! I will fight for her with the last living breath in my body.

Hujan emas di negeri orang,
Hujan batu di negeri sendiri.
Baik lagi di negeri sendiri.

I finally understand what this means. I'll take my chances with the hujan batu.

This land I was born in, this land I was raised in, this land that fed me, nurtured me, protects me - this is my home, no other. She has claimed me as hers, and I have claimed her as mine. More significantly, I belong to her, as she belongs to me. There is something so welcoming about this land, that unexplainable something which makes it unmistakably Home. I'll not run like a coward to seek refuge in another country. I'll not abandon her like a traitor, I'll not renounce my loyalty to her like a betrayer. This is where I was born, and this is where I hope to finally rest.

Long-sighted, my left ass. *snort* I am disgusted they can't see the worth of things beyond saving their own necks.

This one year, the whole family went to the Royal Selangor Club on the eve of Merdeka Day. We had dinner, then stayed on for the countdown. As the clock struck midnight, shouts of "Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!" filled the air, fists thrust towards the sky, and the national anthem started. The Dataran was filled to bursting with people, and as the national anthem played over the loudspeaker, everyone stood to attention, but went on chatting with each other.

In a quiet corner of the balcony where my family and I stood, two mat salleh couples sat, having drinks. If I remember correctly they were English. As the clock struck twelve, they rose from their table and stood with the rest of us at the railing. When the national anthem was played, they stood to attention. While some Malaysians on the Dataran chatted and horsed around, they sang our national anthem out loud as they watched the flag being raised 100m into the air. At the end of the anthem, they clasped each other around the waists and kissed each other. Then the men shook hands, while the women hugged. Then they turned to us, smiled, and wished us all "Selamat Hari Merdeka".

I never forgot that. I was fourteen. It took two mat salleh couples to show me what the spirit of Merdeka was all about.

Merdeka is the legacy our forefathers left for us. Merdeka Day is not an excuse for rave parties, it is a day to reflect on the battles our forefathers fought to achieve Merdeka, and it is a day to appreciate and celebrate their victory. For certain, celebrating it is more than a little alright, but all too often nowadays, the partying goes into overdrive whereas the true significance of the day becomes almost incidental.

Merdeka celebrations get to me. Huge emotional affairs. Smothering my car with flags the whole month of August doesn't make me a patriot, I carry the spirit of it with me everyday, even when I'm not conciously aware of it. Some days, I'm overwhelmed by how fortunate I am to be living in such a country so blessed with so much. And some days, I'll even remember to be grateful we live in a free country. Our own country, somewhere we truly belong. And it has to be asked: What does being Malaysian mean to you?

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA!