Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah!

Lawry is back in town. Well, he will be in town intermittently until the 2nd of January, and by God, it was good seeing him again.

I can hardly believe 7 years have gone by since I first met him. It seemed like only recently we were goofing off and horrifying Mr Weibe with P.Diddy's mangling of "I'll Be Watching/Missing You". Where did it go? When did time pass us by so fast?

Like I said to Lawry, it's less about missing college than missing the friends I had in college.

It was great seeing ya tonight, Lawry honey. We've got to play that pool game again sometime, only with less beer for Irvin.

... Or maybe more. ;o)

And there was once that I wrote about Mr.Tall-Dark-Silent-&-Utterly-Gorgeous aka The Husband. It was great seeing you too, hun. Your caring and beautiful smile made my day. No, hun, he's not the married-man, and yes, hun, he treats me well. :o)

Just as an aside, the papaya tree in the house I'm renting yielded a wonderful harvest today.

We therefore hereby decree that Today was a Great Day.


:o)

Blue Skies, Smiling At Me

Walking from the carpark into the office, I looked up at the sky and thought of my sister.

CocoNad: Abang, I'm going to ask my kids, "Kids, what colour is the sky?" and if they answer, "White, Mummy!" I'm going to say, "Cle-ver children."

She's right. We rarely get blue skies here, and today, it was a dirty, grey overcast. Still, with the dawn lighting, it was beautifully breathtaking.

But sometimes I wonder if people who live under perpetually blue skies are happier people.

Simplicity

Why does our happiness depend so much on other people - whether their presence, or lack of it?

Don't look at me. I don't know.

All I know is that it does. I'm learning that it does.

I'm learning to admit it does.

.
.
.
.
.

At the risk of sounding mawkish ..

I love you. You have made the best difference in my life.

*kiss*

Where Did The Ringgit Go??

Three men went on holiday. Upon arriving in KL, being back-packers, they look around for the cheapest room rates. Finally, deep in the heart of Chow Kit, they find a 'hotel' charging RM30 a night, and being back-packing cheapskates, they decide to share a room. So they each fork over RM10, pay the leering Auntie, and retire for the night.

A few minutes after they left the front desk, the Auntie recalled that being the middle of March when tourists were few and far between, the 'hotel' was currently offering promotional rates of RM25/room per night. Now, while honest Chow Kit Aunties are few and far between, this one feared karmic repercussions, so she calls over her p!mp, i mean, bell-boy, and gave him RM5 and told him to return it to the poofs who just checked in.

So the pi.. bell boy goes up to return the money. Once out of Auntie's sight, he thinks to himself, "Why don't I just give 'em back RM1 each, and pocket the RM2. After all this trudging up and down the stairs, I deserve a teh-tarik break, wat?"

So he gives them RM1 each and goes for his teh-tarik, leaving our three travellers ecstatic and patting each other on the back for pulling off the amazing feat of getting a room in KL for under RM10 per person.

Now, at RM9 apiece, they ended up paying only RM27 for the room, as 9 x 3 =27. Add to that the money the bellpimpboy pocketed, RM27 + RM2 = RM29.

.... Wasn't there supposed to be RM30??

;o)

Possibilities

There’s nothing more exciting than a blank page. So many possibilities, so many opportunities.

A crisp, smooth page in a spiral notebook...

The pungent fragrance of another day in the year-planner...

The slide of a stiff A4 sheet into the printer feed-tray...

The roughness of handmade paper in a leather-bound journal...

Sometimes it’s scary, you never know what you’re going to produce.

Sometimes you’re afraid of what that blank page might be filled with when you’re done.

But a blank page is always the best place to start.

.. Or to begin afresh.

;o)

Oprah's Relationship 101

Thanks to CikAnn for sending me this. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of that which we already know.

~@~@~@~

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

2. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

3. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

6. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

8. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

9. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

10. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

11.Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

12.Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

13. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

14. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

15. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.

16. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

17. Never let a man define who you are.

18. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

19. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

20. All men are NOT dogs.

21. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.

22. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

23.You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary ... not supplementary.

24.. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

25.Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

26. Never move into his mother's house.

27. Never co-sign for a man.

28. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

29. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Riding on Silver Wings

It's wonderful when someone's happiness can be experienced as your own.

It's wonderful when someone else's optimism can buoy your own flailing spirits.

It's wonderful to be a part of something bigger than yourself, to know that you are inadequate - but it's okay! - because you were never meant to bear it alone.

It's wonderful to not be alone.

It is wonderful to have a safe place to be weak.

It is wonderful to have someone to be strong for.

Somethings just feel so right. There is no justification; there is no need.

To everyone who has decided to make a change for the better, I wish you the best. :o)

The Quiet Before the Storm

Dissatisfaction.

Disillusionment.

Restlessness.

Frustration.

My Existential Crisis

What is the point?

What is the point of any of us being here?

We breathe, we proliferate, we crumble to dust.

They say legends live on. Your deeds live on.

.. But to what purpose?

It is all so pointless.

Aimless.

Nevermind that people are also cruel.

It is a terrible thing to inflict upon another person. I will allow no child of mine to grow up in this world.

I Am Irritated

Why do people allow other people to determine their actions, decisions and perspective?

When will people learn that someone else's life is none of their business?

When will people learn that their lives are nobody else's business?

And when will people learn to ignore the fucking busybodies?

When will people learn to stop being fucking busybodies?

It's none of your business.

Fucking busibodies can't help being fucking busibodies. It's not something I can control anyway, so they can go on being fucking busybodies, I don't give a fucking rat's arse.

What pisses me off is when people let the fucking busybodies interfere, then have the gall to complain.

All it takes is for you to tell them to fuck off and ignore them.

It fucking pisses me off.

When it affects me.

I bought a baking book today. It's amazing. It's helping me cope.

Selamat Hari Raya, everyone. I hope everyone has a good Raya. Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Feeling Moony

Someday when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

You're lovely with your smile so warm
And you cheek so soft;
There is nothing for me but to love you,
Just the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart.
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
Touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, never, never change,
Keep that breathless charm,
Won't you please arrange it.
'Cause I love you,
Just the way you look tonight.


~WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT
(Dorothy Fields - Jerome Kern)~:

MeMe

7 things I plan to do before I die
-------------------------------------------
1. Scuba Diver's license
2. Finish reading LotR (hey, I may die tomorrow, tau!)
3. See the Goo Goo Dolls live
4. Be Happy
5. Be Rich
6. See the End to World Hunger
7. Witness World Peace
(8. Be the next Ms America)

* Sorry, guys. Don't expect no nobility nor levity from me.

7 things I Like To Do
----------------------------
1. Reading in a park, on the grass, on beautiful, cool mornings.
2. Bask in the sun on a hot, powdery-sand beach.
3. Bake
4. Make Music
5. Sing
6. Teach very young children.
7. Figuring out big machines.

7 things You Might Not Know About Me
-----------------------------------------------
1. I dislike having to deal with people. I have no patience for bodek-ing. (No jobs in Marketing for me!)
2. I really wanted to be a zoologist. Or a vet.
3. Or a stage performer in musicals.
4. Or a tai-tai.
5. Too much milk makes me sick.
6. I like hats, altho most people I go out with refuse to let me wear them.
7. My room is a frightful mess.

7 things I'm Not Quite Good At
------------------------------------------
1. Being patient.
2. Writing in Malay (aiyoooo...)
3. Picking up after myself
4. Immediate handling of disappointment and upsets. It always takes me a while to respond.
5. Being enterprising.
6. Roller skating
7. Resisting impulses: shopping, eating, indulging my uber sweet-tooth.

7 Celebrity Crushes
-------------------------
1. John Rzeznik, The Most Beautiful Man in the World!! *G*
2. Amir Yussof
3. Matthew McConaughey
4. John Cusack
5. Liam Neeson
6. Johnny Depp (he's so weird its sexy.. tee hee..)
7. Angelina Jolie (aiyo. Which person regardless of gender /sexual inclination does NOT fancy the pants off her??)

7 often repeated words
------------------------------
1. Cool
2. Fuck (ing) (Suffix)
3. Hey..
4. Thank You
5. I Love You Soooooo Much! *hugz* :o)
6. No such things as Too Much Chocolate
7. My brother is sooooooo cuuuuuuute!! *G*

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
--------------------------------------------------------
1. Humour
2. Wit
3. An open, frank manner
4. Intelligence
5. Quirkiness
6. Nice smell
7. A natural ease


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Thanks to Mrs Nads

Yet ANOTHER Internet Quiz!! Yay!

Pure Nerd 60 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Well, as long as I'm passionate about being smart... ;op THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 57% on nerdiness You scored higher than 58% on geekosity You scored higher than 36% on dork points

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Help Me Compensate for Wednesdays

Wednesdays are the worst.

I can take Monday and its blues. Tuesdays are not too bad either.

But Wednesdays just go on and on and on... and on and on and on and on and on and on.... You're only in the middle of a Wednesday before you're on your knees begging for it to be 5.45pm already..

I hate Wednesdays.

Btw, since Raya is coming up soon (enough), and I've got pineapple tarts for anyone who's interested in buying some. Very nice one. If you're interested, email me at kuihtat@gmail.com. My grandmother's secret recipe, handed down from generation to generation. (Yes, the singular is intentional.) Guaranteed to be yummi-licious. I am shameless. Haha!

Umm .. Sorry, KL only. Kalau nak makan, meh datang KL. ;o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

I Turn 25 Today.

I found my first wrinkle yesterday.
Was I bothered?
Maybe a little.
I was immediately compelled to run out and get me a pot of LaMer,
But does it really bother me?
Not that much, not today.

I turn 25 today.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Comic Relief

Am feeling lazy. Was thinking of doing Min's meme, but that'll have to wait for when I'm feeling less brain dead. In the meanwhile, enjoy this fun little selingan I received in the mail, courtesy of Intan Hot-Mamachita.

Fong, I don't know why, but this sooo totally reminded me of you! As I read it, I was imagining laughing along with you. *hugz* (Btw, Lawry will be here from the 1st to the 16th of December!)

Have a great, fun day, everyone. *hugz*

~@~@~@~@~@~

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

~@~

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

~@~

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she."

~@~

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

~@~

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..."

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

~@~

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

~@~

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

~@~

~And my personal favourite!~

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

~@~

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests! God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. ;o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

MiniMeMiniMeMiniMe

I don't understand the desire to procreate. Well, put it that way and I tell a lie. I perfectly understand the desire to procreate. *purrrr*

I suppose what I don't understand is the urging need to propagate. The last thing I want is a mini-Me running around. How terrifying.

I remember when my cousin first got married. I had asked her about her plans, in general, and she had, without the slightest hesitation, answered they wanted to start a family immediately. I was startled, but I thought, oh, heh heh. Iiiiii get it. *nudge nudge*wink wink* But she was serious, and she had a bun in the oven before the honeymoon was over! (To be fair, it was a 3-month honeymoon. Oh, to have ultra-wealthy, doting parents!)

I didn't understand it. Didn't she want to experience what it was living as husband and wife for a bit of quiet bliss before never ever ever having that kind of peace again for the rest of their lives??

And a child is no small responsibility, it's an unbreakable commitment for life! Even long after they've grown and having kids of their own, they're still your responsibility! Well, that seems like the modern Asian way, anyway, especially if you're upper middle- and above class.

It's just so ... if there was ever a ball-and-chain commitment, this is definitely it. Marriages nowadays are no longer so inescapable, but the responsibility of caring for your children is not an option. For responsible people, that is. :op It's not that I fear I won't be able to handle that kind of responsibility, I know I very definitely can, but I just don't want it. I most vehemently don't want it.

I know some people badly want children and therefore gladly shoulder the responsibility for the wonderful joys parenthood rewards them with. I find that .. admirable. And I understand that.

What I don't understand is WHY people want children in the first place??!!!

Natural instinct? Or our own ego driving us to have little 'us'-es? I know some of you have kids, or want to have kids, and I'd love to play with them and take them to parks and take them shopping and buy all your kids lots and lots of toys, candy and clothes .. but I don't want one of my own.

No, I am NOT a paedophile!

My sister think it's exceedingly strange, as I am good with kids. I manage them well, I am patient with them, and I can always get kids to do what I want without having to resort to threats of monsters lurking in hidden corners, policemen/guards-will-catch-you or corporal punishment, but I want none of my own.

You know what I love? Teaching kids; small children, up to the age of twelve. On and off between my tertiary schooling, I often found time to teach younger children. Once I even volunteered as a teaching assistant at a school for handicapped children, and honestly speaking, I loved every moment of it.

When I was looking for a job earlier this year, I actually went to several interviews for positions that required working with and teaching young kids, and you know what? I was sorely tempted, but at the time, I thought it best to give engineering as a career a try first. My main motivation for deciding this was that engineering paid more. I'm not wrong. Hardly noble, but I've never professed to possessing higher virtues. I want my money. I figured that after I'm financially secure I can do whatever the hell I want, be it teaching young kids, or veterinary science. You know how people say never work with children or animals? I wouldn't even mind doing both at the same time! Eh heh.

Now, I still think about those teaching jobs I gave up, wondering if I might be happier there than I am here, wondering if the higher pay is really worth giving up the opportunity to do something I know I would enjoy.

Sigh.

I love my brother. He's four. I was 21 when he came along. I've had an active hand in raising him from a wee tadpole, and I love him to bits. And because there is this huge age difference, its almost like having a son of my own. Nakal pun nakal lah, but there is nothing I would not do for the little brat, and he's one of the greatest loves of my life. He's my very own little man.

But still, I don't want a child of my own womb. The thought makes me shudder.

I don't know. I suppose I simply don't want to bring another person into this world, not me personally. I think I'm more the type of person who would open an orphanage or a home, take in stray waifs, raise them and nurture them in a way their own natural parents neglected to provide for them, then send them on their way.

I think I'm more suited to the role of Mentor than Mother. I have no desire what-so-ever to propagate. I think that the only way I would ever have kids of my own would be through adoption, by *oopsie!* accident, or if my husband desired children. I would give my husband children, should he so desire, but if given the choice, I'd rather not. Thank God He sent me the one He did, which only makes me feel better about the posibilities of this relationship.

I suppose the same maternal instinct in most women manifests itself in its exactly reverse polarity in me. Who knows? I might feel this way now, and have a change of heart later, in which case I'll just have to eat my post.

But until then, will you let me spoil your children instead? ;o)


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Passing Breeze

You know, they say you may forget the names of people, you may even forget their faces, but you never forget the way they made you feel.

I've been thinking about them of late; the people of my past. No, not just the romantic episodes, just .. people who have left impressions on me, and who I've never seen since.

I remember nursery school. Apparently, I attended a Montessori kindie. I don't remember. Anyway, I was four years old (still being weaned off diapers, yes), and I had a sweetheart. I remember he was this huge Chinese boy who used to carry my sand pail to the sandbox for me, every single time.

I remember too, Mrs Nayaranan, who gave me my first colouring book. Lol. At the kindie, we used to get only one ripped-out page to colour, and if you were deemed good enough (ie. colour within the lines - they were raising sheeeeep!!) you got a whole colouring book to yourself. I remember I was close to the last person to not have my own colouring book yet, and when I finished the picture of that clown (always a damned clown!), and after answering that I had left the gloves blank on purpose because they were supposed to be white, I finally got my own book. I remember feeling so ... satisfied, and accomplished. So satisfied and accomplished that I finished colouring it before I was supposed to (one page a day only) that I got told off for sneaking into the activities cupboard and crayon smuggling. :op

Lol.

I remember the girl from my Maryvale Good Shepard kindie, Mimi, who came to my sixth birthday party and gave me a Snow White doll, which I treasured for years. It was the first doll to have flexible elbow and knees, waaay before Barbie. Lol. We sent her home after the party. I think she lived in PJ.

I remember Eizwan. Lol! My dearest, dearest Eizwan. :o)

Strangely, though, I don't remember my first crush. I remember my huuuugest crush (over someone 9 years my senior!), but I don't remember my first crush.

Well, proper one, over a boy I actually knew, that is. :o)

I remember my first, real romantic ... well, for lack of a better word, relationship, We were in the same choir, so we saw each other every Saturday AND Sunday. For three years.

He was a complete dork! Lol. It was he who introduced me to Magic, the Gathering. *rolleyes* Lol. But it was also he who introduced me to the wonderful genre of Fantasy, so you won't ever hear me complain. And besides, he was kinda cute. *G*

I had a lot of fun with him. It was great fun... but we never made it even to the holding-hands bit.

Give me a break! I had grown up in an all-girls school all my life! I was too unsure of myself way back then to make the first move, and though he was a year older, being a complete dork, I guess he was too shy too.

But we said a lot of things in a hundred small, different ways. Like how we always practised dance steps for the musicals together, even after we had perfected it because we just had so much fun dancing with each other.

And how we'd sit for lengths of time talking about books, movies .. aaah, I'm sure you lot know the drill.

He gave me his favourite glass pebbles. It may not seem like a lot, a bit strange even, but there was a lot of worth in that strange, simple gift.

:o)

I wonder where he is now.

It's been nine years since. Yes, nine, but I can recall every memory with clarity. You never forget the way someone made you feel, and at a time when you were a chubby, too-tall and too-big 16-year-old and being good-looking was the only thing there was to being an attractive person, you never forget how someone saw beyond the plain exterior to the person you are, or have the potential to be, inside.

Some things, Time cannot take away from you.

... and with a little bit of patience, Time rewards you with so much more. :o)


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Hilarious!

Wahahaaa! I find these quizzes absolutely hilarious! Lol ...

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 100%

Pride: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Gluttony: 40%

Greed: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Lust: 20%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 57%

You will die a boring death. While dying, you will be jealous of those who die dramatic deaths.

How Sinful Are You?

And from the colour of my underwear, they were able to determine:

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

and

You Are a Liberal for Life

You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it. For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business. You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic. Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.

What political persuasion are you?

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Rain

I scampered into the R&D building this morning, and no sooner than I did, the sky loosed its fury in torrents. I think my heel got wet.

It rained today. It rained and rained and rained. It was most welcome, especially after the thick, haze-stricken week we had last week before it mysteriously disappeared. Wasn't it odd, how it was just suddenly .. clear? Almost crystal clear, at that.

I welcomed the rain for a very different reason, though. Simply put, I love the rain.

I love it when it rains. Sudden squalls, short showers, torrential thunderstorms, delicate drizzles - I love it all. I've never been afraid of thunderstorms, not even as a child. Sure, the sudden crack of thunder still startles me, but never frightens. When I was little I would sit at the window with my face right up against the glass panes, watching lightning strikes and rain fall. My grand-aunt would always pull me away for fear of my being struck by lightning. :o)

I love the smell of rain, I can smell it hours before it falls. It smells gorgeous; like fresh wetness. And I can always sense when it is just about to pour, there is a heaviness to the air, a palpable pressure, a sort of pressing anticipation. And the close steam that rises off the ground immediately after it rains, there are few better warmths.

Have you ever danced in the rain? It's liberating, for some reason, it is liberating. And the coolness of rain on your skin, it's beautiful. Now, I am a daughter of the Malaysian Sun through and through, and I can't really stand to be cold. I get cold very quickly, and air-conditioning for me has to be nothing lower than 23∞C or my fingers and nose go numb. I must have been a lizard in my past life. Cold makes me lethargic. But the rain. *shivers with delight*

The coolness of rain seeps into your skin, a delicate tinge that lasts long after you've dried off. And your skin always feels so .. different. So much softer, so much more .. gebu. And I've never experienced hair to ever be softer than after its been rain-washed.

I don't get to indulge in such heathen-like practises anymore, not here with the acid rain and shite. *grumbles* I'll always remember school holidays in Terengganu with my cousins, playing in the rain where it was relatively a whole lot cleaner. And at times when I unavoidably get caught in the rain, like yesterday, the sensations bring back a whole host of warm memories.

My favourite thing to do when it rains is Nothing. Absolutely nothing, but listening to it fall. I especially love listening to rain fall on aluminium awnings. Its so noisy! Perhaps it triggers some good feelings from some deep-buried memory of childhood, I know not, but I find its noise soothing.

I am quiet when it rains. It seems appropriate, giving the rain the reverence it's due. I love watching rain slide down glass panes. I love how the world outside suddenly becomes hushed and seemingly at peace, a brief reprieve from the bustling of an ordinary day.

If it rains when I'm at KLCC, I like to buy a book and sit at Kino's Book Club with a lovely double. If it rains when I am at home, I love to curl up in bed under the duvet and read a book with the curtains drawn back. The only thing I can think of that could possibly top that is being in bed, under the duvet, with a nice, warm other person to curl up to. Lol....

Its lunch-time now, and it's still raining, a lazy, mist-like drizzle. And while I should have been studying boring technical drawings of chassis components, I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sound and the smell of the rain.

~ Thursday, 18th August 2005

Freaky-Passionate (or Freakily-Passionate?) Kisser Ahoy!

Part Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Phew!

Sigh. As things are currently somewhat slow at the office now, I thought I might as well write an update.

I've done it! I've managed to get myself a job in a factory! ;oP haha .. well, I'm not really working in the factory proper, being in the R&D department, but it's still fun, nonetheless.

Is the job interesting? It's too early to tell, I've only been here a week, where I haven't been doing much apart from reading manuals, manuals, and more manuals. And everyone speaks in abbrevations, it's so hard to follow conversations most times.

So I talked to the PIC at PVD, and he said that the LPTL for the PQCM1 came back NG and we can't proceed with Pilot Pro. We'll have to do an ECI, so call EIT and have them draft us an official copy, and make sure you tell PP that TA needs a copy, and to cc TE along with a TRF.

*crickets chirping*

Hmmmm .....

I kid you not. I go everywhere with my Little Red (Note)Book, jotting down abbreviations, then sit at my desk trying to decode them. Everyone seems too busy for me to bug, altho they did say I could ask them anything at all. Still, I didn't want to bother everyone with silly questions. :oP

Random observation: there are a helluva lot of Malays working here, but just about everyone speaks English quite well - what a relief!!

Uh.. that's really about it at the moment. No real work yet to enthuse about, so that'll have to wait. But so far, I like what I see, and I think I'll be staying for a while. I can't wait to see where I'll go from here! :o)

~@~@~@~@~@~

Also, due to my working in Rawang, I've found a place nearby. Yay! Am finally moving out! Almost embarrassing only moving out at the ripe old age of 25, but this is Malaysia, the land where two-thirds of the population live bawah ketiak mak until they marry .. and even then half of them still don't leave home, so maybe I should be so embarrassed after all. ;oP

It's a lovely-ing-ly spacious stand-alone, for significantly less than the price of renting a cubby-hole in a shoe-box in KL. Rawang has its redeeming qualities, I suppose. Four rooms (FOUR!), with a small kitchen and two baths. Ok, so the bathrooms are miniscule, but I have a lot of space for a lovely garden with a big papaya tree already growing in the back. And it's in fruit! Lots of it! :oD

The neighbourhood is great, lots of people but really quiet. No shops in the immediate area, which is probably why it's so quiet, but with the shops only a short hop-and-a-skip away.

The neighbours .. ermmm .. well. They seem to be the .. how can I phrase this delicately? Melayu busybody. We had repainted the interior walls a bright yellow, and from across the lorong, across the lorong!!, Cik Timah can call out, "Rumah awak kuning, yeeeeeeeee?" We had covered the windows!!! And my immediate neighbour, the wife looks like one of the more regressive ustazahs I had in school.

*shudder* God, I hated that ustazah. All the answer she had to my questions of, "Why?" was to fix a stony, dumb stare my way, say, "Sebab Allah dah takdirkan, apa nak buat??", and announce that I would only find eternal damnation for my heretical inquisitiveness. Well, no, she didn't damn me to all hells, but she did at one point, announce to the class that people like me are beyond help and redemption. So much for being an educator of religion. What could a 'teacher' (and I use the term extremely loosely, she didn't teach me shit) like that do to an impressionable young teen? It's people like that who give religion a bad name, and here she was teaching it!

As an adult now, I am horrified. I am afraid my own children will go to school and be taught to be narrow-minded, to have their curiosity squelched, to be taught bullshit like that "ustazah" was trying to unload on us. By God, I hated that woman. And I thank God for people like Ustazah Fatimah and Ustazah Mashitah. Wonderful teachers they were, and wonderfully perspective religious people they were, in a world where a lot of people take religion on face value without bothering to, nay, even wanting to ask, to understand the fundamental purpose and meaning of it all.

Uhm ... back to my house. Yes, I don't like the look of my neighbours - it doesn't help that the kopiah-and-janggut kambing-combo husband never looks my way (his gaze always just slides past me as if I was invisible, I hate that, I always immediately distrust people like that!) - but I won't judge on appearances alone. She could be a wonderful person, they could both be wonderful people, but I'll be wary of them nonetheless. Always better safe than sorry. *wink*

Well, my place is lovely now. Not as complete as I'd have it, but that will be achieved in time. I shall be moving in today. I can't wait. :o)

By the way, am in good spirits this week as I just bought Mac's iBook G4 over the weekend! It's soooo cute! I love my new toy. *G*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Quickie

Sorry all. Things have been extremely hectic of late. Will update properly when I finally get a moment to sit. But here's generally what's been going on:

Started work at Perodua in Rawang on Monday. It's been ... boring, so far. And everyone speaks in abbreviations there. Bahasa apa pulak dia orang cakap nih? I sit at my desk all day trying to decipher and decode everything I hear. EVERYTHING. I expect things will improve, it's only been 3 days, after all. Will update properly later, yeah? Sorry!

As a result of working 70km from home and civilisation, I've had to rent a house in Rawang, or face an appox. 2hrs drive to AND fro every day. I kid you not. I found a place last Monday and have been busy all last week trying to make it habitable. It's almost ready, I expect to move in this weekend.

Will update properly once things have settled down. *gurn* Hugz all around.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

I Have Charisma

So, at my exit interview, I was told that one of my good points, one that will apparently get me far, was that I have "charisma".

"Charisma" with a 'cha', as in char-kuey-teow.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Lady of Leisure .. Briefly

I've quit! I've quit! I've quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt!!!!

*G*

I submitted my notice of resignation last Friday, and will now proceed to while away my last week here with hours of Gamebitz's BubbleBubble! Mua ha ha ha haaaaaaaa!!!

I will then enjoy my two weeks off before starting as an R&D Engineer with Perodua (yay!) come August. General plans are: go house-hunting (Min cepat balik!), rescue my hunny bunny from tapau lunches, and leeeeeeeeeelax!!

Aaaaah ... the simple life.



~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Foolish Dreams?

I've been thinking.

*jejeng*

Lol.

So, I was sitting at my desk, bored out of my skull, alternately working on the fecking MTO whilst playing Minesweeper, and I started thinking, right? I started thinking of the things I used to want, the things I always thought would make me complete, right? Like, the way I felt two years ago when .. *aherrm* .. when I was young(er) and in love with somebody else. And as I thought of the thoughts I used to think when I thought thoughts of what I thought I wanted (eheh), I (as in present, old(er) me) thought to myself and chuckled, "My, wasn't I naive?"

Then I stopped, mid-chuckle. Wait a minute. Why do I, now, think I was naive then?

I suppose being naive is believing in ideals, wanting those ideals and believing those ideals to be real, to be achievable and reasonable, when people who know better know they don't exist in the real world, that they are only the fanciful notions these young whippersnappers get.. Ooooooh, wait til they really grow up, they'll know better.

And it made me wonder, when did I become so jaded?

Were all the things I wished for then really so ridiculous? Were they really nothing but the fanciful ideals of a person only just getting the hang of this 'being an adult' business?

Were they naive because now that I am wiser and know better, I know that they are all things that will most likely never come true?

Or were they naive because they were fanciful ideas impressed upon me by my peers, romance novels, American soaps and teen dramas, which I will unashamedly admit I watched copiously in my teens?

Or do I only believe now that they cannot possibly come true because I've let myself become affected by the cynicism which seems to be the prerequisite for being an 'adult'? Look at all those kids trying to be 'mature', has nobody ever wondered why they are so cynical, so sarcastic, their comments so biting? Undoubtedly, they take it to extremes, even those 8-year-olds nowadays, but has nobody ever wondered where they learn it from? Does nobody ask, "Who are these children emulating?"

So, which is true?

I don't know, but I'm starting to think that, y'know, if all those/these things I want/wanted are good, so what if everyone else thinks I am naive, unrealistic, foolish. Why should I give up trying just because nobody thinks it can be done. I think it can be done, and I will make it happen. I don't see why I should give up a dream just because other people laugh at me. Their derision is not worth the sacrifice of my ideals.

And there may be a reason for all those foolish themes in all those books/dramas/stories I read as a teen; that a lot of other people often wish for the same things too.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Bila Larut Malam

Of late, I've been having difficulty writing. Everytime I draft a post, it always seems shite - all the eloquence of a stumbling elk trying to piss and fart while outrunning a predator. Really. And it bugs the hell out of me.

But there's something about late nights that loosens my tongue, figuratively speaking. Thoughts take shape seemingly of their own accord, and the words flow effortlessly. Perhaps the tiredness, the weariness results in unguardedness, the necessary state for unbridled thought; no inhibitions.

Unfortunately, though, since I started this current job, I find myself dropping off to sleep out of sheer exhaustion before 11pm, most nights. You go to sleep as soon as you can because you know that if you don't, you'll be fucked tomorrow. There isn't time to relax, to wind down, to sit and think .. and to write.

I miss writing like this, I miss having the time to write like this. I miss it so much.

Also, now, I have to be careful of what I write about. It used to be just me. I used to write about how I felt, what I did, what I thought of things, just me me me me me, with no significant impact on anyone else. These days though, it isn't just about me anymore. Even if what I write about now is only just about what happened to me, it no longer affects only me.

That recent post of mine, my God, the amount of trouble it caused.

I must admit, I find myself needing to consciously make that adjustment; being aware that the things I say now affects someone else very personally too. It isn't easy. I've become so accustomed to being self-reliant and independent, and having my actions affect primarily only me, affecting others only on a small-scale, at most, that I find this adjustment to be somewhat difficult.

By difficult, I don't mean that I am unwilling to make the change, but that I am sometimes unaware of the effects my actions would cause on the other end. And how strange it is to be so strongly affected by something someone else does, how so very strange. How personally we take the other person's comments, because innocent as it may have been meant, you feel it reflects on you personally, intimately. I am only just discovering and learning that now.

It's a funny thing, this whole 'relationship' business.

:o)

Moving on. Neil Gaiman will be in Singapore! Book signings and interviews and talks! Aaaaargh! I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!!!!! But because it is on the 4th - 6th July (ie. Monday - Wednesday), I kenot go!

Aaaaargh! I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!!!!!


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Yo-gagony & Pi-aching-lates

My aching body! Oh my poor poor pooooor aching body! It never gets better. Never! Every week I go, I keep thinking that this week, sap sap sui! (piece of cake) But nooooooo ... They'll introduce yet another new move which will leave my muscles juddering and sweating buckets. I tell you, I sweat more lying on that yoga mat than I do half an hour of proper workout on the treadmill! How is that possible?

I'm hoping, of course, that there will be some outcome to all this! Preferably noticable. ;op And tiring as it is, though, and ache as I might for the whole following week, I love it. *G*

I know that Pilates and Yoga are meant to complement each other, but I don't know, I prefer yoga to pilates. Got more seni la. It's more .. genteel, more fluid, concentrating not only the 'physical' part of it, ie. stretching, etc., but also the grace of the movements, the art in the exercise. Pilates, however, is more straighforward, concentrating on making the most out of the workout. I think it's very abrupt. An hour of yoga seems to fly by whereas an hour of pilates feels .. well, like an hour of pilates. :o) I always, always walk out of yoga sessions floating. The aching only starts tomorrow.

Exercise!! I wouldn't call myself a health-freak, faaaaar from it! I love my Burger King deep-fried Go Mozzerella! cheese fingers too much. OMG, few things are more delicious and comforting than that! Breadcrumbs-coated, deep fried mozzerella cheese sticks! How much more artery clogging can things get! Lolz .. but I do try to be somewhat sensible about it, I've limited myself to having it only once a month - at most. I don't think it is an unreasonable compromise. *G*

Hmm .. where was I? Oh yes. Exercise! I never thought I'd ever see the day I'd willingly exercise, even look forward to it, but I suppose I really do enjoy it! *cough*

Frankly speaking, I find the cardio work to be a bit of a chore, but I've found that you really do feel better after exercise. Tired, sweaty and somewhat out of breath, but really energized as well. A sort of buzz. I don't know. It could, of course, just be the shortage of oxygen to the brain that makes me delusional, but hey! You can't beat that kind of feel-good high! :o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Woman's Worth

Okay, I'm cheating, but I thought this was .. well, more than worth repeating. Thanks to MzMin.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Forever - Ben Harper

Not talkin’ ’bout a year
No not three or four
I don’t want that kind of forever
In my life anymore
Forever always seems
To be wrong when it begins
But forever never seems
To be wrong when it ends
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin’ ’round all over town
Givin’ their forever away
But no not me
I won’t let my forever roam
And now I hope I can find
My forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

Like a handless clock with numbers
An infinite of time
No not the forever found
Only in the mind
Forever always seems
To be wrong when things begin
But forever never seems
To be wrong when things end
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

~Forever~Ben Harper~

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Bertolak-Ansur

Sometimes I feel so .. inept .. at this whole relationship business. Sometimes it's so frustrating it makes me want to tear his hair (ahem) out by the roots.. and his hair is not the only thing of his you want to tear out by the roots...

Things were a whole lot more uncomplicated when you haven't got someone else to consider. You could do whatever it is you like without worrying the other person might not like it. It's like that when you're in a relationship, isn't it? You like something so much that you want the other person to like it just as much, then get sorely disappointed when they don't. And you think that maybe because of that, they now love you a little less. Ridiculous. True, nonetheless.

Compromise. Now there is a word that didn't happen too often when I was single. Oh, sure, I've compromised before, but I've realised that I hadn't even begun to comprehend what that word meant then. *rolleyes*

I'll admit, I'm spoiled. I'm used to having things my way, and I'm very good at getting things my way. I'm spoiled rotten. And it was easy to say, "My Way or the Highway" back then. My problem now is that I still want things My Way .. but I don't want the Highway.

Why is it that you feel you now have so much to lose? What makes this one person worth so much? I don't know. I've often wondered, but I don't know. All I know is that he's worth the weight of the world in gold.

Sigh. Doesn't make the compromising any easier tho. ;oP

Sometimes, I don't know. I really, really don't know. How do people do it? How do people stay together years and years? 50 years?!?!!! O_o

Sometimes I feel so tired. I'll be honest and admit that sometimes I wonder why I do it. Sometimes I wonder, what's the point? Well, not him specifically, but what's the point of all this? of any of this??

But I've always believed that if you can itemise the things you love about a person, you can just as easily check them off.

Oh, he was so romantic! Not anymore! *skriiiitch*
Oh, he used to pick me up from work everyday. Not anymore! *skriiiiitch*
Oh, we used to have the exact same taste in music/books/art/food/sports. Not anymore! *skkkkkkritch*
Oh, we used to finish each other's sentences! Ermm .. nope! *skkkkkrrriiiiaaatch!*

What happens when he stops doing all the things you loved about him in the first place. Of course, the argument could be that if you don't know the reasons for it to begin with, then you wouldn't really know if it was real to begin with, n'cest pas?

If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it is to trust my instinct. I know it sounds, ummm, unreliable, but over the years, especially in the last few, I've come to realise that sometimes instinct recognizes at the outset things that your head refuses to acknowledge, sometimes out of sheer stubbornness. Sometimes you want something so badly that the head ignores everything else. And I've realised that instinct cannot be fooled, the head only realises this much later.

I'm rambling. Relationships are much harder than I thought it would be. Also, ironically, it's much harder now than it was in the beginning. I have so much more to lose now. Is this natural of relationships? I don't know. But at the same time, some things become more natural. Some things become more effortless, and you don't take them for granted. Eeeeesh .. but it still *nnnyyyyyyeh*s me to compromise. >oP

As much as relationships take out of you, I've noticed it gives back so much more. That every inch you give seems to give you a mile back. Sometimes it doesn't seem it at the moment of giving - sometimes that pisses the hell right out of you - but later always seems more .. peaceful.

Once you've cleaned the shit off the fan, of course.

;o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Raaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!

Eeeeee!!!! I am so fed up with my Internet connection!!!

I had typed in this looooong entry, and the fecking thing disconnected without my realising it .. and when I clicked on the 'POST' button, the page changed and *blip!!* my post was gone.

Feck feck feck feck feck.

Damn you tmnet!! Daaaaaamn you streamyx for not working and making me resort to tmnet!! Daaaaaaaaamn yoooooooooooouuuuu!!!

A proper post is just going to have to wait til I get over being pissed off with yukky Malaysian internet service providers....

*grumbles*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Quiz! The Keys To My Heart!

Yet another Internet Quiz! Courtesy of MzMin.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Yes, ermm ,,,, No, Yes, No Comment, Yes, Yes, Yes .. and NO! The answers could also just indicate I like certain animals more than others? ;o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Happy Birthday To Yoooooooooou!!!

It's my baby's birthday today!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!

We're painting the town red tonight. *G*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

The Swamp Thing

So, I was hired as the Project Engineer, right? As there aren't any current projects, my job, at the moment, constitutes reading up on the equipment we supply and methods of installation. Right.

My boss, however, thinks that I may not be able to deal with possibly difficult contractors because as he sees it, my 'hands are too soft'. They, apparently, are too animated when I talk. How is that relevant??

He also doubts my ability to work in tough site conditions as it is bound to make me 'sweat'. It's usually very hot, you know?

He doesn't think I can competently even find my way around a work site, but refuses to find out whether or not I can by REFUSING to let me go to one. Why? He doesn't have time to 'teach me'. I never asked him to babysit me! I want to look at the equipment!! I said as much, but he was adamant in being arsey.

Oh, and he walked up to my desk today to tell me that he has secured a contract, but that he will head the project himself, despite having soooooo much work to do, on TOP of marketing to handle (he has a sales/marketing engineer, btw) that he just doesn't know how he'll handle it all!!

"Ummm ... but you did hire me to handle, or at the very least assist with the projects, right?"

"Yeah, so I don't know if you want to be involved in this project ..."

WTF???!! "Yes, I do."

"... Okay, if you want to be involved, then I suggest that you develop your intelligence as soon as possible."

What the flaming fuck....????!!!!

I swear, I was steaming. There is no pleasing this guy! I've been here a week and a half, and already he had me do this full presentation for one of the equipment, just to see how much I've learned in a week. Okay, fair enough, but despite being able to field every question he shot at me, and despite my asking 'interesting and insightful questions' (his OWN words, I swear!) back at him, he "still doesn't find much to be impressed with me just yet". Does he expect me to design and build Titanic II in a week??!!

We went on a site visit to demonstrate another equipment to potential buyers, and he asked me to write a brief report based on my observations of the PEOPLE involved and their reactions, NOT on the equipment that was being demonstrated. Fine. We got back to the office after lunch, I wrote it out and submitted it before I went home. That was Thursday.

He didn't read it until Tuesday, and chewed me out for being tardy! And lazy! That was it. Unfair is unfair and this was a bit too much. It was a tribute to my mother the way I held my temper in check and politely, albeit through gritted teeth, explained my side of it.

And after he had read through my report, commented that I didn't seem to look at things from a technical point-of-view, which suggests that I may be unsuitable for field work.

What the ...??!!! I give up!

So I'll see my three-month probation out, as I want to see what it'll be like once the project goes underway. In the meanwhile, I think I'll root around for something new.

Hahahaaaa!!!

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Inggeris Patience

Ugh. I suppose I was wrong when I assumed professionals could, nay, should be able to speak English well, but despite reading the hilarious accounts of MrsNad's boss, the BOIW from Inggeris-hell, I still stubbornly, naively held on to my belief that working people, especially those working in offices, could speak it well. I really should have known better. All I could do was sit there, just short of stuffing tissue in my mouth to muffle the incredulous laughter.

"Harllow? I am calling from Company X. Yes, I am calling regarding the documentaries I lee-see-ving from you fax me ah. Yes, I lee-seeve alreddi, but this is my first time come across this, so I need your adwisement? ... Oh, ok. So I will get the authorization signatories from my boss and fax return it to you? Ok. Teng kyoooop." [hangs up]

oh, and my boss, while not so hopeless, had this to say about one of the company's products:

"Our system is virtually maintenance-free, and almost never breaks down! Of course, after a while - maybe 10 years - there might be some minor problems, but breakdown? I'd say .. only once in a full moon! Guaranteed!"

I kid you not.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Cehck Tihs Out!

So arpaeptnly trehe was tihs raesecrh at Cmabgrdie Uinervtisy on the phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. It semes taht it deonst mtaetr waht oredr the ltteers of a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you wlil sitll be albe to raed it wouthit a porbelm. Arpaeptnly tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Fciansniatg. Asboultley ficasnntiag... I wolud wirte a wlohe psot tihs way, but its too tmie csonumnig .. ;o)


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Random Rant on the Subject of Bellies

Y'know what?

I think all women, even the skinniest (especially the skinniest!), should have bellies. Okay, I'm not talking about hanging-over-the-belt type guts (guilty as charged), but small, slight ones.

I think there are few things more alluring and endearing than the soft curve of a belly on a woman. Which is why I find the mannequins at Escada KLCC so adorable. ;o)

Aiyah! All women look at - and appreciate! - bodies of other women! Get over it!

Really. I think it makes women look .. softer. Vulnerable, in a non-pushover way. Nurturing. Ethereal in a Botticelli's Venus way. Cute.

Natural.

Seriously, angular women freak the hell out of me. Oh, I won't deny I've looked at them pair of thin thighs and wished I could fit into those skinny pants, but the sight of them jutting pelvic bones with the skin just straaaaaaaaining to cover them more or less puts me off. And collarbones which threaten to put my eyes out, they're a rant post unto themselves.

Models. I just don't think it's natural. I'm sorry, but models scare me. But whenever I come across one, I find myself unable to pull my eyes away. They're fascinating in the way major car accidents and six-legged goats are fascinating. It's almost impossible to look away. Whoever first dubbed them clothes-hangers were not kidding. And if they were those lovely padded hangers which come with little ribbons it wouldn't be so bad. No, they're definitely those bare-wire hangers which leave irritating 'bumps' on the shoulders of your favourite blouse.

Eeeeee.

Give me a beautiful, small, soft belly any day.


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

The Simplest Things

I used to think I knew what I wanted. I suppose I still kind of do, but is it everything I need?

I want a nice, huge house. I want to have my own jet so I can fly to Switzerland should I fancy. I want a jacuzzi in my backyard. I want a humongous library, crammed chock-full with books. But do I really need any of it?

But it'd be silly comparing deep-seated desires to material ones. Nevertheless, the premise remains: do I really need everything I want?

And do I know what it is I really need?

Most times I think I don't. I'm just beginning to realise how much I don't. And only when it hits you like a face-first belly-flop off a 5-foot springboard into the pool do you realise how much you've been needing it. And by the time you realise it, just pray and be grateful it is not too late.

You take so many things for granted when you think what you want is what you need.


"
DANTE: Veronica.

JAY: Is she that girl who's down here all the time? She came here today carrying a plate of food.

DANTE: Lasagne.

JAY: And what - you were gonna dump her to date that Caitlin chick?

DANTE: Maybe.

JAY: I don't know dude. That Caitlin chick's nice. But I see that Veronica girl doing shit for you all the time. She brings you food, she rubs your back...Didn't I see her change your tire one day?

DANTE: I jacked the car up. All she did was loosen the nuts and put the tire on.

JAY: Damn. She sure goes out of her way.

DANTE: She's my girlfriend.

JAY: I've had girlfriends, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit. My grandma used to say, "Which is better: a good plate with nothing on it..." No, wait. I fucked up. She said "What's a good-looking plate with nothing on it?"

DANTE: Meaning?

JAY: I don't know. She was senile and shit. Used to piss herself all the time. C'mon Silent Bob.

(pause)

SILENT BOB: You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, but they don't all bring you lasagne at work. Most of them just cheat on you.
"
~Clerks~

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Happiness Is...

Y'know what?

I am happy. So happy.

Things aren't perfect, but I am happy.

What a wonderful difference just one person makes.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Guess Who's Moving On?!!

So I went for the interview, almost peed in my pants and talked back to the person who had the final say .. and I landed myself a job! :o)

Oooooh .. my first 'real' job! I've been working with mummy dearest and uncle(s) since I got out, and although I suppose I did actually work, it really didn't feel like it. There was no sense of accomplishment, no sense of real achievement, and it was wholely unfulfilling. It may have been due to the fact that privately, I thought it was a sort of copping-out, but whatever it was, it made me feel .. useless. Under-achieved. Under-utilised. Stagnant.

Stifled.

And so this is the beginning of (finally!) being able to cut them apron strings. Yes, the ones I have been straining against for so many years, but have been unable to sever due to financial dependency.

And I'll finally be able to discover what I'm really capable of, to test my limits, see just how good I really can be, to prove myself. Not to just anyone, but to me.

I don't know how people can be satisfied with dead-end jobs. Jobs that don't challenge you, repetitive jobs, no-brainer jobs. I couldn't stand to be stifled like that, I would wither and die.

.. Which probably automatically puts me out of the running for the "Most Loyal Employee" Award, but hey, some things are more important than getting a cushy pension package. Like being happy and satisfied with something you'll have to do day in, day out, minimum 5 days a week for approximately the next thirty years, for instance. It is a VERY lucky person who's able to love her job and be paid well for it at the same time, but I think it's lucky just to love your job, period. Alls I's knows is I think no matter the size of the paycheck, nothing could be worse than waking up in the wee hours of the morning and feel nothing but loathing at the beginning of the day. Things can only get worse from there.

.. Unless, of course, you won the lottery.

.. Maybe. ;o)

So I got myself a job, all by myself. I don't know if I'll like it, but it's somewhere to start.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Oh, Solitude!

Solitude is a necessary thing. In small doses. I suppose.

I barricaded myself in my room. Nobody bothered me all day. I only just went down to get something to eat, now that everyone is asleep.

What peace! What blessed silence!!

I don't know why I need it, but I do. I need the solitude, the silence. I need whole chunks of time away from people, to be alone with just me. And my books. My music.

The past few weeks I've been over-exposed to people needing me for this, people wanting me for that, people demanding my attention NOW NOW NOW!!! ... For a semi-hermit like me, it all was just too much. I can handle a lot of things, but if I have a failing, it is the inability to handle the incessant yapping of people I just DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS about, clamouring over each other for my attention over the most trivial and inconsequential of matters; things which, to them, are of UTMOST importance, their magnitudes blown wholely out of proportion by people who do it because they MUST feel important about themselves.

Self-important Fuckers.

Not even home is a refuge when you have nine other people living under the same roof. It's been driving me insane. The past few days I've been totally out of my mind. I swear I went bonkers. Something just snapped. Now that I've had a whole day and a bit of ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with another person, I've only just begun to realise what the problem really was. Well, I always kind of knew what the problem was, but am now only realising that there was a bit more to it than I initially thought.

What it essentially boils down to is that I need somewhere I can be myself. For whatever. I need to have a place to call my own, somewhere for me to hide when I need to. When I was younger I used to be able to find my refuge in books. I would bury myself in them, and when I finally emerged, I'd find I'd've read my worries away. For unknown reasons, it no longer works. I find that nowadays I need something more physical, and of late I find the need for private, personal space growing stronger and stronger. More urgent.. and almost desprately necessary.

The logistics of it, however, needs to be worked out first. So far, it's not working out. Yet. I don't know how much longer I can hold up, but hopefully it'll be long enough for me to work something out. It's not much of a choice, really, and with some luck (well, a lot of it really!!) I won't have to wait very long.

I'm going to watch some Southpark now. It always cheers me up. :o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Series of Unfortunate Events

After missing out on a yoga session (don't ask!!!), I very bad-naturedly tromped out of the gym, bought myself a movie ticket and seeing I had half an hour to kill, headed for A&W for a Root Beer Float and Curly Fries. Shaddap. Jangan komen. It was a tough day, okay?

I watched Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Gosh, what a lovely-sounding name. Lemony Snicket. Lemony. Hehee. But seeing as how A Series of Unfortunate Events seemed to be the theme for my day, perhaps it was only fitting (and most apt!) that I watched it.

What a sad movie! Really! It's so sad!! The whole movie, I felt such sympathy for those poor Baudelaire children. They suffer one unfortunate event after another, and at times when things looked like they were finally turning out right, another misfortune befalls them. Kesian sangat! I cried for Uncle Monty, but then again, I have a soft spot for Billy Connolly. ;o) Yet, I thought it was brilliant. It was brilliant in the way Big Fish and Pleasantville were. It's tragically beautiful in the way Nightmare Before Christmas is, almost exactly in the same way. I realise that many would beg to differ, but my two cents. :o)

It's a beautifully made film, the costumes, the sets .. the actors! I hadn't really read much about the movie prior to watching it, and I was surprised to see so many established actors, but that's irrelevant! Or is it? Beyond a doubt, though, the children were the stars .. especially baby Sunny. Wahaahaaa!! She had the BEST lines! *G*

Aaaah .. Go watch the film, this film that says even a seemingly-unending series of unfortunate events ends in a rainbow .. of sorts. :o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Why, oh Why???

Why is it that when you're feeling especially, exceptionally bloated, you cannot resist scarfing down chocolates by the tonnes?

And why is it that you keep wanting to eat eat eat eventhough you feel your chin growing a twin?

(All you lucky people who don't have this urge, I hate you! Go away!! >oP)

Oh God. Ni baru PMS. I'm going to feel like the Hindenburg when I'm preggers.

Oh God.

I am sooooooo FAAAAAAT!!!!

.... But I'll bet a pink iPod Mini would make me feel better. Although the green one kinda kicks serious cool ass too. ;o)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

A Book, Someone?

I need something to read.

Usually, I have the memory of a sieve. For obvious reasons, this is generally bad. When it comes to my books though, it's a bit of a blessing as that means that I can read my books over and over again, and every time I read it, it's as if I'm reading the story brand new. However, numerous repititions of the same old stories tend to drill them into me head.

This, unfortunately, has happened with just about every book I own. Or any book I care to read right now, that is. I opened my cupboard and couldn't find a single thing to read. It's like opening a closet overflowing with clothes and having to yell in total desperation, "I have nothing to wear!!!" The girls should understand what I mean.

Nak pergi Kinokuniya, tak ada duit. Macam mana niiiiii???!!!!

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Simple Sentiments

For those of you who didn't know, I hate listening to the radio. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, absolutely hate it. I can't stand the inane chit-chattering of tong kosong DJs, I hate the stoooooopid radio ads (altho once in a while you get a few priceless gems *winkz*), and I will never (NEVER!!) be able to fully express just how thoroughly I detest their musical selections.

[snip]
Once upon a time, there used to be a rock-a-licious radio station where the DJs didn't love the sound of their own voices, the ads were amazingly low, the callers were at least semi-intelligent/coherent and the music was good. It was called Classic Rock. Unfortunately, as with all good things, it came to an unfortunate demise, due to lack of sponsorship/ad pulls. Alas! The sacrfice of GOOD entertainment in the name of profitability. Boooooo!!
[unsnip]

R&B. Ugh!

Hitz.fm, MixFM, Era, Radio 4, THR, whatnot. I would flip through the stations just to find something I could bear listening to, whatever the station. More often than not, I'd flip though the whole frequency range twice over before giving up in maddening frustration and switching the *#*%* damned thing off.. only to switch it back on again bare seconds later in the vain hope that I might find something halfway decent to listen to this time around. All in vain, I tell you.

It's worse when popular music goes through a phase. A while back there was a Rap/R&B/Gangsta/I'm-Tough-Black-Music-You-Bitches-Worship-At-The-Altar-Of-My-Bling phase. God, what the fuck was that about?!!! And then not only does ONE station (read: hitz.fm) play them on an unending loop, but in a bid to be as 'cool' as hitz.fm, ALL the other stations play the fecking same thing over and over again as well! Aaaaaargh! Have these people never heard of VARIETY?!!! The only station I find halfway bearable is Red104.9. Which is why I invested in a kick-ass player (best I could afford anyways), so I could listen to songs I liked while I drove. I'm in control baby!!!!

Ahem.

Hence, after losing *ahem* misplacing my CD case for a week after the car came out of the workshop, I cringingly gave in to the inevitable. When I say I need music, I really need music y'all, and I figured it was worth a tiny risk .. and y'know what? It wasn't too bad. I still, from time to time, was forced to do the quick station-shuffle, but all in all, it wasn't too bad. Thankfully, I'm now able to give it up seeing as how I've recovered my precious cache. Aaaah, you never know what you had until you've lost it. Too true. :o)

But on my short week listening to public radio, I came across this song. The melodics are so simple, the lyrics so juvenile. Yet, its simplicity is its charm.

It reminds me of being a teenager in love. I suppose the song is about a teenager in love. Heck, I only just watched the video for it this afternoon and the singer IS a kid still! And the song: the promises so naive, the sentiments so .. uncomplicated that they could actually be taken at face value. It reminds me of being in love when I was in school. What did I know of love then? Ptish! Everything about love seemed so simple then, not the way love is as an adult now, so much more complicated.

Yet, I listen to the song and its amazing simplicity stands out. The song is certainly not shallow for it, and its simplicity strikes at something profound in me. Maybe love is not meant to be complicated at all, and maybe love should be as simple as this.

Maybe love is.


I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

~ Beautiful Soul - by Jesse McCartney

And this song is dedicated to Min, who has one of the most beatifullest souls I know. *huuuugz*

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Love Is In The Air

So, Valentine's was a week or so ago, and love is still in the air. Well, it's true for me, regardless of the date. I also think that Valentine's Day is, in this modern age, an absolutely horrifying commercialist celebration, a day for opportunistic businessfolk to glut and grow fat on mindless consumerism, but that is a different story altogether. Besides, I don't need ONE specific day to celebrate my love. I do it every day.

Also, I think she said it rather well, so I'll leave this at that. Hee hee.

Right now, I'm feeling moony. I like that. :o)

And it was all, well today anyway, triggered by a song. It's bittersweet, but so beautiful.

And I'd love nothing more than to share it with you.

Be well, and be loved.

*HUUUGZ*


Numb and broken, here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
Hoping, praying that I'll find a way to turn back time
Can I turn back time?

What would I give to behold
The smile, the face of love?
You never left me
The rising sun will always speak your name

It won't be long, we'll meet again
Your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again
My love for you is everlasting

I mourn for those who never knew you

~ Rose of Sharyn ~ by Killswitch Engage


~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling:

Jas 101 - A Crash Course

Stealing a page off her, who stole a page off her. *winkz*

Jas 101 - A Crash Course

1. My mum wanted to call me Stephanie ..

2. .. but I ended up being named after Jaclyn Smith, my dad's favourite (original) Angel.

3. So my mum got her say in it by changing the pronunciation, so my name is pronounced with an 's' (or two) in lieu of a hard 'c'.

4. I was born on the last day of September (which is NOT the 31st!!!), 1980 ..

5. .. which resulted in 80's Rock, Cyndi Lauper, and Wham! being my first exposure to music. One of my earliest memories is sitting in my mother's car singing along to "Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go)". Yes. Amazingly, music still developed into an eventual passion for me.

6. Sesame Street.

7. AND Moonwalker, the Movie. *rolleyes*

8. When I was six, my mother decided that her children should be prodigies of some sort, possessing half her genes and all, and decided that it would be nice to hear strains of classical piano tunes permeating the halls of our house. Therefore, she carted us (me and my sisters) off to piano lessons.

9. I hated it. I fucking hated it. Saturday mornings used to be Times of Torture. It didn't help that my teacher was a woman with a wicked temper who stood over me and the keyboard with a wooden 30cm ruler and would *SMACK!!* me across the knuckles when my wrists drooped.

10. Imagine what happened the year she got pregnant!! It was then that I refused to leave the house for piano lessons, and when my mother bodily carried me to class, I refused to do a single thing beyond sitting with my arms tightly folded across my chest. She gave up after three episodes of wilfulness.

11. However, piano classes resumed when I was 13, with Miss Wendy, who awakened in me the passion for creating music. Oh, she was one of my first REAL teachers, and I went six grades in three years.

12. I spent 11 years in an all-girls government school, CBN...

13. .. and did NOT turn out socially inept for it, rather it instilled a confidence in me that I might not have gotten anywhere else.

14. I wish I was as smart and as beautiful as Min,

15. and Ben,

16. and Nadia, and Intan, and Anne, Hanim, Azie, Sharm and Amanda...

17. ...all of whom make up the GirlyGirls (!) who taught me all I know of beauty, poise and grace, in every sense of the word. *hugz*

18. I went to Taylor's after high school, to do my A-Levels, where I met a whole bunch of people I couldn't imagine living without.

19. Like Fong, who taught me compassion,

20. and Del, who taught me faith,

21. Don, who taught me strength,

22. and Nadia T., who taught me patience.

23. If there ever was to happen a wonky sort of famine, I could subsist on char koay teow and chocolate mousse alone.

24. I think.

25. My most expensive purchase to date: my beautiful beautiful Maton 12-String Acoustic.

26. I want to race track, but have no money, so it'll have to remain a dream.

27. For now.

28. Cars, I mean. Cars.

29. I did gymnastics for three years in primary school. I had to give it up when I grew too tall.

30. I am somewhere between 5'8" and 5'9"..

31. .. and weigh 67kg. Well, now anyways. Yes, I have put on a bit of weight, so I am now decidedly pudgy...ier. Pudgier.

32. But it's okay, because I am happy. I lose weight when I am unhappy due to lack/absence of appetite, and I'd rather be pudgy..ier and happy than thin and miserable.

33. And I have Faiz to thank for that, who taught me what it is to love, and be loved in return. :o)

34. I could go through life blind, but I never want to live without music; I would wither and die. A good composition is literally capable of moving me to tears with its sheer beauty.

35. On my bedside tables are candles, a mountain of books,

36. a telephone, a stash of chocolates,

37. a dictionary AND thesaurus; all the things you'll ever need in life.

38. is the plate number on my car, which is 8 years old but I won't get rid of because I love it soooooooo much!

39. Something else I love sooooooo much is my three-and-a-half year old brother, Fareed. Life has never been the same since he arrived, he makes all of us so happy.

40. But the thought of having my own children scares the bejeezuz out of me. Commitments don't get larger or more irreversible than that!

41. 31 Flavours for me please. None of that Haagen Daaz shite.

42. Dealing with people drives me bonkers. I detest having to pander to other people's mengada-ness, therefore I will never work in sales and/or marketing. Ugh.

43. Machines. Give me machines that don't talk back any day. *winkz*

44. That's why I chose to study Mechanical Engineering, so I (hopefully!) don't have to work behind a desk. Much.

45. But what I really wanted to study was Zoology,

46. because I feel a compassion for animals, which are trapped by circumstances, that I don't feel for humans who, I believe, cause their own misery.

47. The only exception being babies and children. Good little children, say under the age of nine, who behave themselves, eat their greens and don't talk back.

48. The snotty little brats we should feed to insane, hungry, canniballistic gorillas.

49. *sings* All you need is love, all you need is loove, all you need is looo-ooo-ooo-oooove... ala Moulin Rouge!. *winkz*

50. Which, I think, was a brilliant movie. Baz Luhrmann had a vision alright. I love his 'trilogy'.

51. My Little Pony, Jem and the Holograms, Care Bears.

52. I played gamelan in high school. It was kickass cool.

53. My favorite flowers are madonna lillies, jasmines, prostitute flower (hehe.. tuberose) and roses. In that order. :o)

54. I like perfumes which are 'open-ended' scents. Nothing too sweet, heavy and cloying. My favourites are rose-based.

55. Blue Bunny - Bunny Tracks, Boom Boom Brownie, Super Fudge Brownie. Yumma-yumma. Aaaah! Screw 'Lite'!! *grinz*

56. I have a sweet tooth. *G*

57. Melanie Rawn.

58. Dragons. I have an incurable fascination with dragons. I blame "Flight of the Dragons".

59. 500 Miles, The Proclaimers. The most romantic song I've ever heard.

60. I'm a realist-romantic. An internet quiz told me so. *winkz*

61. I'm also stubborn.

62. I don't know where I get it from.

63. My mother taught me more than I have the wisdom to understand. She's irreplaceable.

64. Famous Amos. Chocolate Chip Macadamia. *drool*

65. Macadamias. *drool*

66. I wish I had a green thumb.

67. I love my sister and brothers. :o)

68. Cherries. Fresh cherries, maraschino cherries, cherry pies, cherry cheesecakes. Cherries Jubilee, Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate. Cherries.

69. I love rock-climbing. Artificial rock-climbing. Not very superb at it, but I love it.

70. Silverhawks, Transformers, Voltron.

71. Before I turn 60, I must a) get a navel ring, b) go skydiving, c) get a scuba divers' licence, d) travel the world.

72. One out of four ain't too bad. I've got 35 years and a bit to go.

73. Land a job I'll be happy at. If it pays well, it'll be a bonus.

74. Sun, sun, sun, sand, sea and surf. I am a born beach baby. I believe I was an iguana in a past life.

75. If I were an animal, I'd be a cat. Independent, keeping to myself, apathetic, and when I want to manja I'll come looking for you. *lol*

76. I love to bake. It relieves stress. My best? Pineapple tarts, my grandmother's recipe.

77. A perfect quiet day? Sprawled under a tree on a cool day, reading. No ants/mosquitoes. Or sprawled in the sun, on a beach, dozing, working on a nice tan. No sleazy pot-bellied mat sallehs offering me RM300 or mosquitoes. Yeesh.

78. I am slighty lactose intolerant. Ice-cream doesn't count. It's not milk. It's ice-cream. ;oP

79. Johnny Rzeznik is the Most Beautiful Man on Earth.

80. And the Goo Goo Dolls are my favouritest band.

81. Mike Melanin inspired me to pick up drumming..

82. .. and I've already achieved Grade 5!

83. .. in one-and-a-half years! *grinz* Sorry, a bit proud of myself there if I do say so meself. :o)

84. I periodically suffer from insomnia. Couldn't you tell? :o)

85. Shiraj's Honey Chicken. Mmmmmmmm ....

86. Black Adder. Fawlty Towers. And recently, Father Ted. :o)

87. Pink. The colour.

88. *warbles* Diaaaaaamonds are a girl's best frieeeeeeeeend! *G* It doesn't just end there though. lolz. My favourite gems are sapphires. And I favour princess cuts.

89. I have been bringing home stray mogs since I was five. We currently have three cats, which are not mogs, but it's the only thing that keeps me from bringing home lost kittens.

90. I can't wait to start living on my own.

91. I never have enough clothes.

92. And I will never own a credit card. No willpower. Not in that department.

93. I believe in karma. What goes around, comes around.

94. I believe in the Natural Law, and I believe it rules Supreme. Some people call it God, some people don't.

95. And I believe in Absolute Good, and Absolute Truth.

96. But I also believe chocolates are the only vitamins anyone ever needs to maintain excellent mental health, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

97. Or do I?

98. Perfect pizza topping: pineapples, mushrooms, green peppers, turkey ham, pineapples, black olives, tomato slices, pineapples, onions, cheeeeeeeeeese, chilli flakes, and oh, have I said pineapples? *winkz*

99. Lay's Salt & Vinegar *pucker!*

100. God Bless the Internet.

101. World Peace, and an end to World Hunger.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Bless y'all. Toodles.
XOXOXO

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Feeling: